Work Stress Just May Make You Insane

This is why I think it's SO important that you not take a job for the money. You can learn to live modestly and I have found it to be a very satisfying way of life, actually. I've taken a major pay cut from private sector to work for my local government and I have found the simplicity of my lifestyle is much less stress producing as well.

Our society seems to have slowed down on this materialistic bent for a bigger house, a new car every three years and so on. Less is more sometimes and when it comes to work, it may just mean your mental health. Here's an excerpt and the link to read the entire article :

"For many of us, society has become increasingly alienating, isolating and insane, and earning a buck means more degrees, compliance, ass-kissing, shit-eating, and inauthenticity." Full Article "Why Life in America Can Drive You Insane"

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

#36 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Errors are Great Teachers

Appearing perfect, strong, and all-knowing doesn't serve your coworkers nearly as well as showing them then you, too, have made mistakes and have worked through them. In fact, I would suggest that withholding your "trials and tribulations" from others who are in need of counsel is very close to arrogance. You may get to feel superior momentarily, but in the end, you have not acted from a superior place. You have robbed someone of the information they need to learn, grow, and perhaps pass on the same wisdom when someone comes to them with a similar problem. Even in the worst case scenario, you will provide comfort to others by showing that you, too, have made mistakes and that they are not alone.

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#35 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Embarrassment at Work

If you can truly say that you have never been embarrassed, hurt, criticized, or make a mistake in the workplace, then how can you be a resource to teach or assist others when they experience these situations? Without experiencing professional anxiety, doubt, stress, rejection, and other uncomfortable (or downright painful) moments personally, then by definition you would be unable to give accurate, useful, and clear direction to others when they experience similar issues. You have no idea what they are going through; therefore, you cannot act as a resource for providing insight out of these dilemmas.

If you've never ridden a bike, how can you teach someone else? Ironically, the one thing we have in common as coworkers (and as humans) is our imperfections. And yet we spend endless energy keeping these painful memories hidden from each other. The very thing that could teach another or help someone through a difficult time (i.e., understanding exactly what they are going through and advising them on how you got through the same situation) is something we rarely share.

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Learn how to handle the stress of embarrassment on my site "Work Stress Solutions.Com".


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#33 of 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Pride Keeps Prejudice Company

Another Coveyism that ties prejudice to pride: "When we argue, we are fighting for our weaknesses." It took me a long time to understand what this quote was saying. When we are not willing to be open to another point of view--when we are sure we are right--we are actually fighting to keep our limitations in place. If you find yourself right this minute thinking, 'I am not the person she is talking to in this [blog entry]," you are fighting to keep your prejudice.

When we become defensive after receiving feedback or argue with someone over our opinions on a matter, we are fighting to not have our minds changed. We are fighting to keep our current mindset in place. As you can probably figure out, this will ultimately make you obsolete. "Fight for your weaknesses and you get to keep them," is another way to look at it.

Today, I ask that you open up to this possibility. What does becoming aware of our biases look like? How do we know when we are "there"?

The answer? When we can see that everyone has both shortcomings and strengths. Everyone (including ourselves) makes mistakes and creates successes. Knowing that we all want to be able to pay our bills easily, enjoy leisure time, and create something meaningful at work---no matter our physical form or current circumstances--is the goal.

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#28 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Balancing Act

We all hear so much about balancing our lives, our workload, our commitments to ourselves and/or others. But what is "balance," exactly?

Is it making sure each piece of your life is equal, like a pie being sliced into sections? Is it taking 100% and assigning a value to each section based on value? For instance, work gets 50%, kids get 30%, and so on? Is it taking the 24 hours a day we each have and determining what activity gets what amount of time?

I would say none of these definitions make the cut. Your definition of balance is unique and individual and comes from paying attention to the little voices--the little tugs---you receive from your intuition or that soft voice inside your head.

When you feel guilty or frustrated or angry or exhausted or any other unpleasant emotion of physical sensation, ask yourself what this message is telling you. Are you meant to get more sleep? Is there a difficult discussion you have been avoiding? Are you staying up to watch Letterman when you really want to get up early to work out?

Whatever "it" is, the answer is already there. Just relax and let it in. Don't avoid it or smother it with a cocktail or a box of cookies. Each day, each hour, we can make choices---different choices than the ones we made yesterday or five minutes ago. Instead of falling into the cycle of old patterns and moving on autopilot, shake yourself awake, so to speak. Pay attention. Do something right now that gets you closer to feeling calm, relaxed, in control, and therefore balanced.

My definition of balance? I think it could be best described using the metaphor of a gymnast on the balance beam: calm, relaxed, in control, focused, confident. Adjusting to the small sways or missteps, learning from mistakes, and practicing, practicing, practicing. Watching more accomplished gymnasts as they balance, talking to those who are more experienced on "life's balance beam," reading about techniques, trying them out. And finally, falling and getting back up.

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#27 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

ANXIETY RELIEF: Think Clearly and Create Calm

"The best way to turn anxiety into confidence is this: Be clear. Clarity is the antidote to anxiety. If you do nothing else, be clear."

--Marcus Buckingham, First Break All the Rules

This teaching complements the last entry, as well as the second habit of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr. Stephen Covey's bestseller. The second habit is "Begin with the End in Mind." This habit states that everything we do is created first in the mind. If we are unclear about our objectives or our goals, then the outcome will be inconsistent or vague, just like our thinking.

This reality is especially important for those who supervise others. If we are unclear about our expectations, then our directions are anxiety-provoking. If we give unclear messages to people (upbeat one day, grouchy the next), then we produce anxiety in others.

Decide to simplify your goals and your behavior. Be clear in your thinking. If you are conducting a meeting today, don't clutter your mind with thoughts like :

"Okay, I have to get all these things covered and then let others ask questions. If I make sure I race through this part, then maybe we'll end on time. I gotta make sure that I talk to Mary afterward about that other thing. Are there enough chairs in here? What about....?"

Instead, simplify, be clear. It may sound like:

"I have the agenda items I need to cover and there is enough time to gather questions. The purpose of the meeting is to convey this information and ensure everyone is clear before we end the meeting."

Imagine the difference in stress, anxiety, and confidence when you compare this to the first internal thought. By simply stating over and over again your one (maybe two) sentence objective instead of letting your mind race, you will naturally focus on only those things that get you closer to your goal.

101 Ways to Love Your Job is available on Amazon.Com or your local bookseller.

My website has LOTS of free resources for lowering work stress. Check it out.

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#17 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Affirmations Work

Affirmations must be stated as if they are already true.

It is common error to state something like, "I will be promoted soon," or, "I want to be financially comfortable." Unfortunately, what this language creates is the state of wanting to be promoted, but not actually being promoted. So instead, you will always want vs. actually attaining your goal.

State the affirmation as if it is already true. In the above examples, an effective affirmation would be: "I am doing things to get promoted every day," or, "I am making choices that lead to financial comfort." A good test of an affirmation is whether if feels like a lie. If it does, then you are doing it right. I know this sounds strange, but if you don't smoke and you decide to create an affirmation like, "I am smoke-free," then where's the work? Where's the change? By definition, you aren't there yet, so it should be untrue (for now).

Affirmations take about 28 days before you start seeing results.

This is also the time it takes to change a habit. There is something in the subconscious that just holds on to our old way of doing things. Many experts feels this 21-28 day cycle is a survival tool held over from our ancestors. The subconscious is trying to do us a favor by creating autopilot responses to free our minds for higher thinking. Instead of having to think about how to brush your teeth each and every time, you probably spend that time reflecting on the day ahead. This is one example of a habit you have established.

Whatever the reason for this delay, be aware that you will feel resistance for about one month. Resistance will look like:

*feeling silly
*being skeptical
*forgetting these suggestions and going back to your old ways

"Just do it" is my best advice for getting past this stage. Caution: watch out for the trap of, "I am becoming more skilled everyday...but not really!" or "I am being financially responsible--despite my inability to stay away from the mall," and other self-sabotaging thoughts.

The next time you find yourself thinking negatively or in a way that doesn't serve your goals or desires, immediately "erase" that programming with an affirmation. Remember---it doesn't matter is your conscious mind thinks it is nonsense. Your subconscious mind accepts and and all input.

Control your thoughts and control your life.

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My website has LOTS of free tools and worksheets. Visit Work Stress Solutions for more information.

#2 Be a Good One Today

Have you considered what your direct impact is on coworkers, customers, or citizens? People in such positions as police officers, firefighters, or school teachers can easily connect their jobs and their impact, but what about the rest of us?

What about sewer workers or garbage collectors? Well, we gotta have clean water. What would happen if the garbage was never collected? Finance and accounting types? We all expect our paychecks in a timely and accurate way and this is probably the number-one reason you work. Any copy machine sales reps out there, wondering about your purpose? I defy any of us to go one DAY, much less a week, without making a copy of something.

I often hear people say things like, "At least I'm not flippin' burgers." What's wrong with flippin' burgers? I go through a drive-thru at least once a week to feed myself or my family. I consider that important and I hope the guy on the grill that week does his job well.

Getting the point? Dig deep today and see where you contribute to the larger whole, the larger good. Don't resist this because it seems too pie-in-the-sky. It's critical that you find your calling and not just work to get paid--that you see your impact on your organization and how this carries over into impacting the city you work in, and then your state...and maybe even the world. (Okay--did I go overboard?)

If you don't feel lucky to have your job and get a sense of satisfaction regularly from contributing to making others lives work better...then my advice is to start digging. (Hey---don't forget about ditch diggers---where would we be without them?)

Go to Amazon and purchase the entire collection of "101 Ways to Love Your Job." Visit my websites for articles on dealing with difficult people at work (http://www.work-stress-solutions.com).

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#1 Whatever You Are, Be a Good One

Jobs are more than just paychecks. They are social arenas, spiritual workshops, developmental playgrounds, group therapy, and one of the best tools for learning about ourselves. Anyone who has ever been fired from a job can tell you that this significant stressor was one of the best learning experiences of his life (albeit a painful one). Perhaps more importantly, when we are unhappy at work, we are unhappy at home, too. And when we love our work, we spread that feeling around when we aren't at work.

People can't separate the two most important facets of human existence: work and love. When one is suffering, the other suffers. You're at work eight hours a day (minimum). You are doing it for a paycheck, sure, but that won't keep you particularly productive or satisfied. What you need to keep you energized, stress-free, motivated, happy, and loyal is more than just your paycheck.

Then what is the key to staying motivated day after day?

If you aren't sure if your life work is to make other's lives at least easier, then you are going to hit a wall at some point. In short, to make your work meaningful, you must see it through the eyes of working for the benefit of others. Much like volunteer work, except in this case you get paid.

For instance, I hope that what I do in my training classes makes a difference by the time my participants leave. My private goal is to ensure that they feel equipped to head back to work with a better understanding of how people tick, what ticks people off, and how to get results from themselves and others. Then, when applying these new skills back at their workplaces, this new way is modeled for customers, citizens, and even their families through example. Pipe dream? Maybe.

But it sure keeps me from hitting the snooze button nine times every morning.

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