#40 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Dealing with Failure: Neither Fatal nor Final

For some, writing or journaling produces nothing but a groan. If you are not the writing type, there are still some ways to effectively process a mistake, a misstep, or an outright failure.

Talk to someone.

Make sure you respect and trust this individual or it may make matters worse. A trust confidante with a good head on his shoulders is invaluable. What talking does is takes the monster out of your head, just like the journaling suggestion in the previous post. Some of us are visual and would prefer to write it out (and some of us may be more private than others). Others are more verbal and also benefit from a different perspective. Either way, you will get a better handle on the failure.

Lather, rinse, repeat as needed.

Lather: Mourn the failure (as in, get in a lather).

Rinse: Cleanse yourself mentally and emotionally by getting the failure into a manageable size (see previous tip).

Repeat as needed: Or more accurately---DON'T repeat. Promise yourself you'll learn from this mistake and not do it again. Or really try to find what the reason for this failure may have been...what lesson did you learn?

When I feel like I have failed, I read a quote I have posted near me at all times: "This, too, shall pass." Trite? Take time to think about the words you have heard so many times before. The failure, the humiliation of the failure, will ultimately pass with time. You will not and cannot stay in this moment. Consider failure from the past: doesn't it seem less important now? Maybe even funny? At least it got you to where you are today. Can't deny that!

If all else fails (sorry), ask yourself, "In five years, will this really matter?" Works like a charm!

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts." ~Winston Churchill

Purchase 101 Ways today....

See Work Stress Solutions.Com for more insights like this one.

Thinking about blogging something you know and love like I am? Use SBI! to turn that same knowledge or passion, having just as much fun, into an income of hundreds or thousands of dollars per month. Build an online business, like tens of thousands have done with SBI!.

#39 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Dealing with Failure: Get out of Your Head and on Paper

Processing a negative emotion or dealing with something like a failure is easy to say (or write), but how exactly is it done? Are we supposed to scream into a pillow? Go to a therapist? Develop a thicker skin? I have found one technique in particular helps me deal with the hard times in life. I have used this technique off and on for many years. The more I do it, the more at ease I am. Try it and see if you don't find it a little easier to pick yourself back up the next time you fail.

Journal.

Journaling is a great way to get the "monster" out of your head and onto something more manageable---paper. Journaling is not the same as keeping a diary. Journaling's purpose: When we keep our thoughts in our head, they become larger, more abstract, more intense. By putting the thoughts on paper, you can read back your notes and see that things aren't quite as bad as you thought. (Though they will be bad, as this is a failure, not a success!).

To journal, just take your thoughts and write them ALL down. Don't edit yourself, worry about spelling or punctuation, or worry that another will see your entry. A journaling session may read like: "Today I really blew it. I am so embarrassed, and frankly I am a little worried about my job security. I wish I hadn't done it, but it's too late now. Hey, it's cold in here. Anyway, I would like to just stick my head in the sand and float away and never have to see anyone at work ever again. The phone is ringing---I'm going to ignore it...." and so on.

The rule of thumb for a proper journaling session is : write for three handwritten pages. That's 8.5 x 11 pages. Write for the front and back of one page, and the front of another. This is how long you need to really process the failure. Writing by hand is also a way to slow down and reflect and use the right and left sides of the brain (creative meets logical). There is a ton of research that suggests that writing gets everything involved---facts and emotions--as opposed to when you just type it all into a computer.

You may find that you even come up with some fixes (or at least get the courage to apologize or some other seemingly impossible action). It's not the purpose of journaling, but it is often a benefit.

Now for the real fun: take the pieces of paper, light them on fire, and flush them down the toilet. Worried about starting a fire? You can just tear them up into tiny pieces and flush them instead. The flushing of your troubles is great symbolism and ensures that no one sees your thoughts.

Thinking about blogging something you know and love like I am? Use SBI! to turn that same knowledge or passion, having just as much fun, into an income of hundreds or thousands of dollars per month. Build an online business, like tens of thousands have done with SBI!.

#37 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

To Err is Human

By being willing to demonstrate through your words and actions that talking about, and learning from, mistakes is a necessary part of long-term career success, you allow others to share their experiences, too. It takes STRENGTH to admit that you are not perfect. It takes KINDNESS to share your humanness with another who is in dire need of direction during a painful time. And finally, it takes KNOWLEDGE to provide the information the coworker needs to repair or improve when she has "made a wrong turn."

Show others that it is okay to be human, make mistakes, and learn from them. Pretending to be perfect never taught anyone anything, except to be closed off from others and hide who they really are. I doubt we will find the latter behavior under the heading "great leadership."

Look for ways to help others who are struggling today. When someone comes to you with a problem, share your own similar experience and how you overcame it. Use your painful memories as a way to help someone out of a situation that is causing them pain today.

Download FREE my latest ebook, "101 Ways to Deal with a Pain in the Butt at Work: Yeah, I Said It."

Get 101 Ways...on Amazon.

See my site for FREE everything. Work Stress Solutions.Com

Thinking about blogging something you know and love like I am? Use SBI! to turn that same knowledge or passion, having just as much fun, into an income of hundreds or thousands of dollars per month. Build an online business, like tens of thousands have done with SBI!.

#36 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Errors are Great Teachers

Appearing perfect, strong, and all-knowing doesn't serve your coworkers nearly as well as showing them then you, too, have made mistakes and have worked through them. In fact, I would suggest that withholding your "trials and tribulations" from others who are in need of counsel is very close to arrogance. You may get to feel superior momentarily, but in the end, you have not acted from a superior place. You have robbed someone of the information they need to learn, grow, and perhaps pass on the same wisdom when someone comes to them with a similar problem. Even in the worst case scenario, you will provide comfort to others by showing that you, too, have made mistakes and that they are not alone.

Purchase 101 Ways to Love Your Job at your local bookseller.
See my site : Work Stress Solutions for more articles and other tools (always free).
Follow me on Twitter (steph_goddard)
Become a fan of 101 Ways to Love Your Job on Facebook.


Thinking about blogging something you know and love like I am? Use SBI! to turn that same knowledge or passion, having just as much fun, into an income of hundreds or thousands of dollars per month. Build an online business, like tens of thousands have done with SBI!.

#35 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Embarrassment at Work

If you can truly say that you have never been embarrassed, hurt, criticized, or make a mistake in the workplace, then how can you be a resource to teach or assist others when they experience these situations? Without experiencing professional anxiety, doubt, stress, rejection, and other uncomfortable (or downright painful) moments personally, then by definition you would be unable to give accurate, useful, and clear direction to others when they experience similar issues. You have no idea what they are going through; therefore, you cannot act as a resource for providing insight out of these dilemmas.

If you've never ridden a bike, how can you teach someone else? Ironically, the one thing we have in common as coworkers (and as humans) is our imperfections. And yet we spend endless energy keeping these painful memories hidden from each other. The very thing that could teach another or help someone through a difficult time (i.e., understanding exactly what they are going through and advising them on how you got through the same situation) is something we rarely share.

See all 101 Ways to Love Your Job at your favorite bookseller.

Learn how to handle the stress of embarrassment on my site "Work Stress Solutions.Com".


Thinking about blogging something you know and love like I am? Use SBI! to turn that same knowledge or passion, having just as much fun, into an income of hundreds or thousands of dollars per month. Build an online business, like tens of thousands have done with SBI!.