Perfectionism Q & A

A recent visitor to my website posted this question about her perfectionistic boss. Following is my advice to her:

Q: I work for a medical clinic, a specialist. The physician has a set standard that when a patient comes into the office you can spend no more than 20 minutes addressing all of this patients complaints. No exceptions. If your time runs out, we are to list that on our Encounter form that we "didn't finish because of time". We have to indicate what time we take this person in to work on them and then document what time we finish with them. Daily, each employee who goes "over their time" is wrote up and a copy put in their file. In the struggle to get the maximum out of every minute, the personal touch is lost, that personal connection with your patient, all for the almighty dollar. This clinic has always had the reputation of being the "friendliest and most caring staff" according to our patients but lately, all we hear are complaints about the doctor. All employees are either depressed or medicated and some of us have worked here 25-30 years and really don't know what to do about our physician. The doctor is constantly yelling at employees, interrupting employees during examinations with other patients..just bad behavior. We have even had patients start leaving now, one being a new patient that overheard the doctor cursing an employee. All of us are at our ropes end and don't want to quit but I am seeing a lawsuit in the future...which will be difficult because our physician's wife is an attorney.... HELP!


A: I am so sorry this is your experience at work. This is exactly why I put this site together. One thing you could do is post this quote:

'If you are determined to create a workplace of perfection, you will always create a culture of deception.'

This means that since perfection isn't possible, when a manager or person in charge insists on perfection, we are forced to lie, deceive, cover-up or do things to maintain this illusion.

A person who insists on perfection is actually struggling with self-hatred. Since humans are not capable of perfection, when this standard is pursued, the inevitable outcome is that they will fail. We all make mistakes. To insist on perfection therefore, sets us up for failure. It is self-sabotage.

Since we insist on this standard in ourselves, we then project this out to others. Since we can't trust ourselves to be perfect, we are hyper-vigilant in keeping this standard in the people around us. We cannot stand imperfection or mistakes, because we cannot stand it in ourselves. We have not made peace with our humanness, our flaws, and therefore we are intolerant of these in others.

Progress, not perfection, is the gold standard. When we are making progress, making things better, striving for excellence, we are at peace. When we insist on perfection, we suffer.

Stephanie Goddard Work Stress Solutions

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

#42 of The 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Perfection Repaired

When you set perfection as the standard for all of your objectives, you are being unnecessarily harsh on yourself. You deny yourself the reality that you can only become better when you are allowed to try new things, take risks, and make mistakes. The necessity of self-acceptance becomes impossible, and this lack of acceptance is used as a barometer for others' performance as well.

If you are deeply ingrained in the perfectionist mindset, then this information is probably being discounted by you. I urge you to just notice the possibility that you may be causing yourself unnecessary wear and tear by striving to achieve a standard that no one but you insists on. Read the following suggestions and select one to keep in mind for the following week.

*Remember that you have a distinct and unique contribution. Stop comparing yourself to others.

*Develop your own style and preferences instead of following another person's way.

*Stop analyzing every interaction/conversation you have with important others.

*Accept the fact that sometimes you will make poor decisions and that you will learn from them.

*Remember : perfection is not possible for humans!!


Get the book that this blog comes from !


See my website : Work Stress Solutions.Com for more insights into workplace satisfaction.

Thinking about blogging something you know and love like I am? Use SBI! to turn that same knowledge or passion, having just as much fun, into an income of hundreds or thousands of dollars per month. Build an online business, like tens of thousands have done with SBI!.

#41 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Perfectionism

Perfectionism can be a standard to shoot for but becomes unhealthy when it is the only standard accepted. Some people take the goal of perfection too far...and there is a price to pay. True perfectionists are never satisfied. Chronic or daily attempts to achieve perfection are driven by feelings of inferiority and self-hatred. This not only impacts perfectionists and their health, it seriously damages the morale of coworkers. It is the leading cause of procrastination, ironically, as the tendency to procrastinate creates even more self-loathing, and the cycle continues.

Perfectionism has not received enough attention in the workplace. It can be one of the most destructive traits to both the individual and to others' motivation and workplace self-esteem. I have seen few personality characteristics as problematic as the need for perfection.

Are you a perfectionist?

*Do you find yourself becoming frustrated because you feel that you aren't as far along as others?

*Do you feel others (even loved ones) are always assessing you, from your clothing choice to your word choice...that you are regularly scrutinized by the people in your life?

*Do you criticize yourself even when you are learning something new?

*Do you expect yourself to do everything well at all times?

*Do you find yourself taking part in activities in which you have little interest to gain approval?

*Do you find that when you do something that satisfies you, it is short-lived (for example, the next day you are back to trying to accomplish perfection?)

*Have you been told by the people around you that you focus on the problems in life, and even if everything is okay, you find something that bothers you?

*With most tasks, do you feel that there is a "right" way and a "wrong" way to do them and that you are uncomfortable with alternative ways of getting them done?

If you answered "yes" to more than a couple of these, then I would start to work on your need for perfection. I can honestly think of few reasons for hating your job more than demanding perfection from others or having it demanded upon you on a daily basis.

It's really that simple.



Buy the whole darn book already:) It's only $9.95. It's on Amazon.

Head over to my website for TONS of info on relieving work stress (all free!)

Thinking about blogging something you know and love like I am? Use SBI! to turn that same knowledge or passion, having just as much fun, into an income of hundreds or thousands of dollars per month. Build an online business, like tens of thousands have done with SBI!.

#36 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Errors are Great Teachers

Appearing perfect, strong, and all-knowing doesn't serve your coworkers nearly as well as showing them then you, too, have made mistakes and have worked through them. In fact, I would suggest that withholding your "trials and tribulations" from others who are in need of counsel is very close to arrogance. You may get to feel superior momentarily, but in the end, you have not acted from a superior place. You have robbed someone of the information they need to learn, grow, and perhaps pass on the same wisdom when someone comes to them with a similar problem. Even in the worst case scenario, you will provide comfort to others by showing that you, too, have made mistakes and that they are not alone.

Purchase 101 Ways to Love Your Job at your local bookseller.
See my site : Work Stress Solutions for more articles and other tools (always free).
Follow me on Twitter (steph_goddard)
Become a fan of 101 Ways to Love Your Job on Facebook.


Thinking about blogging something you know and love like I am? Use SBI! to turn that same knowledge or passion, having just as much fun, into an income of hundreds or thousands of dollars per month. Build an online business, like tens of thousands have done with SBI!.