Saturday, May 28, 2011

How I Wrote "101 Ways to Love Your Job"

Do you wonder how someone puts together an entire book? Do you sometimes think you have something to say that others would benefit from hearing? Here's the story of how "101 Ways to Love Your Job" came to be:


As a workshop leader, I get a lot of phone calls and emails and personal visits from employees. I started to notice that I would answer the same question, several times, in one week. I would also hear about trends, concerns and upsets in my workshops. Instead of answering these issues one by one, I decided it would be much more efficient to start a regular email tip weekly newsletter. I sent an announcement to all the employees in my organization, and said, "If you want to get these emails, let me know. I won't be sending these to everyone, because some people may not be interested."


In about one week, I had over 800 people on my list.


I sent out a little paragraph, a thought for the day, or a link to an article. Sometimes I got feedback, sometimes no one said anything about that week's entry.


Fast forward five years later----and I had 88 entries!


No one at my job had asked me to do this. I received no extra money for this activity. I did NOT think that one day these suggestions would be published. I just did it, because I saw a need.


Eventually, I added some more entries until I had 101 and submitted the draft to my publisher.

Where can you fill a need? What do you know that can help someone who may be struggling? You never know how these actions might attract a publisher, employer or business owner. Don't hold back just because you aren't "famous" or because you think you need a Ph.D. Contribute for the sake of contributing. It feels great, by the way. Be sincere in your wish to make people's lives better. You never know how it might turn out.

Available in paperback or as a PDF ebook.




See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Cool: The Emotional Straightjacket

From Brené Brown's Gifts of Imperfection blog.



What has a decade of research on authenticity, shame, vulnerability and courage taught me about "being cool?"

1. The need to "be cool" is an emotional straightjacket. It keeps us from moving, growing, stretching and feeling free.

2. "Cool" and authentic are often mutually exclusive.

3. It takes courage to be awkward, goofy, and silly - all of the feelings that we experience when we're brave enough to try something new or risk being innovative. This is so tough for me. My mantra when I'm trying something new and feeling awkward and goofy is "Effort + the courage to show up = enough."

4. The language of cool permeates our culture and sends messages to the people around us - especially our children. Try boycotting words like LAME, UNCOOL, and LOSER. Also, there is an entire collection of words that are used as cool armour by vulnerable teens and tweens (and adults). They include words like retard, retarded, bitch, fag, and queer. Trying to come off as cool and indifferent often leads to the use of hate language.

5. The greatest casualty of the endless pursuit of cool is connection. When we don't let people see and know our true selves, we sacrifice connection. Without connection, we struggle for purpose and meaning.

Have a great week, be connected, and be cool you.


Posted on 05.9.2011 | by Brené Brown | in Gifts of Imperfection,




See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

The Rules of Improvisation That Will Change Your Life

This is from Tina Fey's book, Bossypants. The book is adorable, and of course, funny...but this entry was actually pretty damned profound and points to instructions for LIFE, so I thought I'd share it with you:




The first rule of improvisation is AGREE. Always agree and SAY YES. When you're improvising, this means you are required to agree with whatever your partner has created. So if we're improvising and I say, "Freeze, I have a gun," and you say, "That's not a gun. It's your finger. You're pointing your finger at me," our improvised scene has ground to a halt. But if I say, 'Freeze, I have a gun!" and you say, "The gun I gave you for Christmas! You bastard!" then we have started a scene because we have AGREED that my finger is in face a Christmas gun.



Now, obviously in real life you're not always going to agree with everything everyone says. But the Rule of Agreement reminds you to "respect what your partner has created" and to at least start from an open-minded place. Start with a YES and see where that takes you.



As an improviser, I always find it jarring when I meet someone in real life whose first answer is no. "No, we can't do that." "No, that's not in the budget." "No, I will not hold your hand for a dollar." What kind of what is that to live?



The second rule of improvisation is not only to say yes, but YES, AND. You are supposed to agree and then add something of your own. If I start a scene with "I can't believe it's so hot in here," and you just say, "Yeah..." we're kind of at a standstill. But if I say, "I can't believe it's so hot in here," and you say, "What did you expect? We're in hell." Or if I say, "I can't believe it's so hot in here," and you say, "Yes, this can't be good for the wax figures." Or if I say, "I can't believe it's so hot in here," and you say, "I told you we shouldn't have crawled into this dog's mouth," now we're getting somewhere.



To me YES, AND means don't be afraid to contribute. It's your responsibility to contribute. Always make sure you're adding to the discussion. Your initiations are worthwhile.



The next rule is MAKE STATEMENTS. This is a positive way of saying, "Don't ask questions all the time." If we're in a scene and I say, "Who are you? Where are we? What are we doing here? What's in that box?" I'm putting pressure on you to come up with all the answers.



In other words: Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don't just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles. We've all worked with that person. That person is a drag. It's usually the same person around the office what says things like "There's no calories in it if you eat it standing up!"



MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, "I'm going to be your surgeon? I'm here to talk to you about your procedure? I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?" Make statements, with your actions and your voice.



Instead of saying, "Where are we?" make a statement like "Here we are in Spain, Dracula." Okay, "Here we are in Spain, Dracula" may seem like a terrible start to a scene, but this leads us to the best rule:



THERE ARE NO MISTAKES, only opportunities. If I start a scene as what I think is very clearly a cop riding a bicycle, but you think I am a hamster in a hamster wheel, guess what? Now I'm a hamster in a hamster wheel. I'm not going to stop everything to explain that it was really supposed to be a bike. Who knows? Maybe I'll end up being a police hamster who's been put on "hamster wheel" duty because I'm "too much of a loose cannon" in the field. In improv, there are no mistakes, only beautiful happy accidents. I mean, look at the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, or Botox.




See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Monday, May 9, 2011

As a Man Thinketh---Modern Rewrite

Recently one of my most important teachers suggested “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen for my own supplemental reading. This book has been free for years, and I immediately downloaded the original work. I found the language so difficult to read, that I wanted to rewrite it for my own comprehension of the material.

But first, I "Googled‟ to see if there was already a modern-day interpretation and found one by Christopher Westra. Christopher was also providing this book online, for free, to keep the information moving to those who needed it. Though Christopher did an excellent job with this rewrite, I was still having issues with some of the tone and language. It was too "Old Testament‟ for me. There was an almost angry, judgmental feel to the work (Note: This was not Christopher‟s doing, but because of the original‟s content. Christopher kept the book as in tact as possible). This was blocking my ability to take in James Allen‟s truth. So I took Christopher‟s rewrite and rewrote if even further, to align this information with the way we view ourselves (and the way we speak) today.

You may prefer the original book or Christopher‟s version. Here is mine, also available for no charge:

COPY AND PASTE INTO BROWSER:
http://www.work-stress-solutions.com/support-files/james-allen-modern-rewrite.pdf


See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.