#30 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Managing Projects...Managing Your Life?

Whether you manage processes or work on projects, at work or at home, these tips will help you organize for a better outcome.

1. Begin with the end in mind.

Visualization, and talking to others about that vision, is key. During this phase, spend LOTS of time (experts recommend most of the time be spent here) mapping out possibilities, talking with those impacted, creating "pros and cons" lists, brainstorming in meetings. You should feel that nothing has been overlooked (though the reality is, it surely has). Ask "Why?" until every answer has been given to that question.

In your home life, or in career planning, this same step can be used to plan your future. Visualize, write it down, talk to others, read, research. The more effort that is taken here, the better the outcome--guaranteed.

2. Fail to plan and plan to fail.

Either you love or hate this part (put me down for "hate). Unfortunately, the reality is that your grandmother was right: if you don't have time to do it right the first time, you don't have time to do it over. Experts indicate that for every minute planning, you save three minutes in implementation. In the training world, the rule of thumb is that planning and preparation is 8:1---eight hours of prep for every of hour of a workshop. In my house, we have another rule of thumb: estimate the time needed for a weekend project, and triple the estimate. Never fails!

3. On your mark, get set, go!

This is the part we all look forward to: get the new project going, start that flower garden, enroll for our first college class. The enthusiasm is a given at this point. The problem is that enthusiasm will definitely lessen as the project goes on. To counteract this phenomenon, try to see every stage as a new beginning.

Adult learning research indicates that adults like beginnings and endings, but not the middle. So trick yourself: make everything a small step/launch/ new phase within the middle of a bigger project. The enthusiasm will return, and you'll be done before you know it.

4. Close the door.

This last step has two parts: One--a project should end. The term "close the door" means that you should announce the end of the project and deliver its outcomes. If you are working on processes, day-to-day implementation, then keep it going. But if you are pulling people off the phone for meetings for an "ongoing project", then something's wrong. Two---assess the outcome and the process that got you there. "What worked, what didn't?" is enough to improve your results the next time.

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#29 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Busy Bee, But No Time Free

"You can be busy---very busy--and still not be effective."
~Dr. Steven Covey, The Seven Habits

We have all had that day where we ran around the office jumping from phone calls to emails to knocks on the door, and ended the day saying, "What did I actually get done? I sure was busy, but I didn't finish anything."

Unfortunately, with faxes, emails, the Internet, and cell phones, we have created a world where information is immediate (and it better be). Instead of freeing us up to focus on our priorities, the priority has become, "Get the information to me and get it to me now." This makes for a fast-paced day, but not one that usually results in accomplishment and satisfaction.

The cure? Consider these two changes:

1. Sit at your desk each morning and list what you want to accomplish in these four areas only:

• Mental/Intellectual (work duties usually go here)
• Social/Emotional (relationships)
• Physical (workouts, doctor appointments, diet)
• Spiritual (not necessarily religious; something that gets you in touch with your introspective side---religion is one avenue)

If you create to-do lists around these four areas, you will have a sense of getting something done instead of "where did the day go?" syndrome. Try slowing down and being proactive by implementing the list you have created for the day.

2. Don't be compulsive about emails and the phone.

It's okay to let emails sit for a while and let phones go to voice mail. With the exception of the customer service role, most of us can let some time pass before answering an email or always picking up the phone. Many of us get compulsive about keeping our inbox free of emails and never missing a call. This can get so consuming that we allow ourselves to be distracted from what we are doing just for the sake of responding quickly. While this is an admirable trait, it is not the only trait worth developing. Try focusing on one thing, then turn your attention to the requests made by others.

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#28 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Balancing Act

We all hear so much about balancing our lives, our workload, our commitments to ourselves and/or others. But what is "balance," exactly?

Is it making sure each piece of your life is equal, like a pie being sliced into sections? Is it taking 100% and assigning a value to each section based on value? For instance, work gets 50%, kids get 30%, and so on? Is it taking the 24 hours a day we each have and determining what activity gets what amount of time?

I would say none of these definitions make the cut. Your definition of balance is unique and individual and comes from paying attention to the little voices--the little tugs---you receive from your intuition or that soft voice inside your head.

When you feel guilty or frustrated or angry or exhausted or any other unpleasant emotion of physical sensation, ask yourself what this message is telling you. Are you meant to get more sleep? Is there a difficult discussion you have been avoiding? Are you staying up to watch Letterman when you really want to get up early to work out?

Whatever "it" is, the answer is already there. Just relax and let it in. Don't avoid it or smother it with a cocktail or a box of cookies. Each day, each hour, we can make choices---different choices than the ones we made yesterday or five minutes ago. Instead of falling into the cycle of old patterns and moving on autopilot, shake yourself awake, so to speak. Pay attention. Do something right now that gets you closer to feeling calm, relaxed, in control, and therefore balanced.

My definition of balance? I think it could be best described using the metaphor of a gymnast on the balance beam: calm, relaxed, in control, focused, confident. Adjusting to the small sways or missteps, learning from mistakes, and practicing, practicing, practicing. Watching more accomplished gymnasts as they balance, talking to those who are more experienced on "life's balance beam," reading about techniques, trying them out. And finally, falling and getting back up.

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#27 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

ANXIETY RELIEF: Think Clearly and Create Calm

"The best way to turn anxiety into confidence is this: Be clear. Clarity is the antidote to anxiety. If you do nothing else, be clear."

--Marcus Buckingham, First Break All the Rules

This teaching complements the last entry, as well as the second habit of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr. Stephen Covey's bestseller. The second habit is "Begin with the End in Mind." This habit states that everything we do is created first in the mind. If we are unclear about our objectives or our goals, then the outcome will be inconsistent or vague, just like our thinking.

This reality is especially important for those who supervise others. If we are unclear about our expectations, then our directions are anxiety-provoking. If we give unclear messages to people (upbeat one day, grouchy the next), then we produce anxiety in others.

Decide to simplify your goals and your behavior. Be clear in your thinking. If you are conducting a meeting today, don't clutter your mind with thoughts like :

"Okay, I have to get all these things covered and then let others ask questions. If I make sure I race through this part, then maybe we'll end on time. I gotta make sure that I talk to Mary afterward about that other thing. Are there enough chairs in here? What about....?"

Instead, simplify, be clear. It may sound like:

"I have the agenda items I need to cover and there is enough time to gather questions. The purpose of the meeting is to convey this information and ensure everyone is clear before we end the meeting."

Imagine the difference in stress, anxiety, and confidence when you compare this to the first internal thought. By simply stating over and over again your one (maybe two) sentence objective instead of letting your mind race, you will naturally focus on only those things that get you closer to your goal.

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#26 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Anxiety is Mental Clutter

Presentations, one-on-ones, to-do lists, family interactions...all can be handled with less stress and confusion when presented as a simple, clear mental (or written) statement: "I am attending Johnny's baseball game today. We will be on time and I will only focus on enjoying the game."

When we aren't specific in our thinking while making plans, we may find our thoughts sounding something like this:" I have to attend the staff meeting across town and make sure I drop off the request for copies before 12pm. I've got to be on time or the manager of the project is going to start getting ticked. I won't chat with the copy center employees and get to the meeting late like last time, either. I'm going to focus on the meeting content and have lots of ideas for the group. Then when I get back to me office, I'll...."

Do yourself a favor and identify the main reasons that you may enter into situations with low does of clarity (and therefore high doses of mental clutter). What can be done to ensure more clarity is available when needed? When you do feel anxiety, check in with yourself and see where there may be "mental clutter" that can be simplified or clarified.

One technique I use is the "twenty words or less" goal statement. If I write down everything I want to do that day and include any additional "clutter" like my stressful feelings, other people's needs, financials, etc., I have a good two paragraphs of goals. What I do instead is TYPE what I want to accomplish and then plug it into Microsoft Word (any word processing software will do the job) and select "Properties." Then I see the word count. Often, my count is at 100 or more words. My goal is to get it down to twenty words or less. It is amazing how much can be filtered down and streamlined with this exercise. What felt like an enormously stressful undertaking feels light and doable.

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#25 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Visualize It and They Will Come

Help your goals along by giving them a little extra kick in the pants. Why not create an "inspiration board" or "vision board" and place it on your wall at work? Seeing what you want will bolster your efforts tenfold. Here are a couple of quick guidelines:

-Use cork or something permeable to easily take up items from magazines and websites, photos of loved ones, words that motivate you...I simply use a piece of flipchart paper and some tape.

-Instead of making the board orderly and linear, use the collage technique. If you are trying to buy a home, for example, post tons of pictures in a variety of shapes and sizes. Have fun and mix up the subjects. Use color and symbols. The pictures may include home fronts, blueprints, gardens....whatever you want.

What should be placed on a vision board? It's as individual as each person reading this entry. What I have placed on past vision boards includes:

-Hairstyles I like
-The cover of the video I watch while working out
-My house listing with "SOLD" across the picture
-The mock cover of a book I'd like published
-A house I want to buy now

You get the idea! Have fun with it. And remember--no "shoulds" allowed (e.g. "I should put up workout stuff because I should work out").

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#24 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Never Say Never

When using the power of our thoughts, it is critical that the use of any negative language be avoided. Words like no, never, can't, won't, shouldn't, not are simply not "heard" by the subconscious.

The reason the subconscious does not hear negatives is that it works with images only. To test this concept, say this to yourself, "I will not eat potato chips." What is the first IMAGE in your mind? I know it's a picture of you eating potato chips. That is what popped into my head, too. The same is true for all of us. "I will not go bankrupt." Immediately you see yourself destitute and homeless. That negative image is what the subconscious thinks you want to create.

Whenever you hear yourself thinking or speaking negatively (even jokingly), change that thought right then and there. Erase that programming and replace it with the image you want to achieve. "I am not poor" is replaced with "I am financially comfortable." Even if your conscious mind cringes at such a bold-faced lie, the image that pops into your head is of a financially successful you. That image is what the subconscious attaches itself to.

Eventually, your conscious mind will catch up.

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#23 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Let's Talk About Me

Now notice your "makes me" self-talk. "Makes me" is an example of language that is not self-responsible. It sends a message to yourself and the rest of us that you are NOT someone to be reckoned with. Examples include:

"Jane makes me so mad."
"Dogs make me nervous."
"He makes me uncomfortable."

Watch your language this week. It really does make a difference in productivity, credibility, and stress levels. Remember what English poet John Dryden said: "We first make our habits, then our habits make us." This is a powerful realization. Our thoughts are habits (sometimes called "scripts"), but they are habits we created.

That means we can break them, too.

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#22 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Let's Talk About Talk

Notice your language starting now. Are you using words like "should," "have to," "I'd better..."? Whether you think this way or speak this way, you are sending messages to yourself (and others) about your lack of personal power. Our language is not arbitrary. Research suggests that even joking about ourselves is picked up by the subconscious as truth. So saying aloud, "I'm such a klutz!" is ultimately confirming your clumsiness as a sure thing.

Even worse than joking about our shortcomings are phrases called "dead enders." These phrases are a way of talking to yourself that puts off changing for the better so quickly it needs some special emphasis:

"That's just the way I am."
"I'm not a morning person."
"That's life."

Working at eliminating this type of response permanently wouldn't be the worst goal!

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#21 of the "101 Ways to Love Your Job"

The Power of Negative Thinking

Remember, even if you consciously think in a positive mode, our subconscious still takes in the environment around us. With or without our approval, the subconscious hears and sees everything and takes it in as truth. To measure your positive vs. negative ratio, try this exercise:

Imagine your day from beginning to end. When you begin this mental exercise, start seeing your day from the moment your alarms goes off in the morning until you reset it before going to sleep.

During your "visual trip," notice the types of input you surround yourself with. Specifically:

-What type of music are you listening to? What are the actual lyrics?
-What TV and news programs are you watching? What is the nature of the content?
-What books are you reading? How would you generally describe the contents?
-What types of people do you find in your life? What are their personal philosophies?
-What websites do you surf? What is the purpose on these websites?
-What radio programs do you listen to? What do you gain in listening to these programs?
-What magazines do you read regularly? How do these help you meet your goals?

None of this is benign. You are the only one who has control over what you feed your mind. Is it mental and emotional junk food or something that is good for you?

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#20 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Jingle All the Way

The next time you get a jingle or song in your head that you can't get rid of, use it to your advantage.

Replace the words of the song with words that affirm your goals. For instance, if "Jingle Bells" if running through your mind, replace the words with something like:

Dashing to the bank,
In a four-door Mercedes Benz.
O'er my office I go,
Laughing all the way. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Or just....

Health, health, health
Health, health, health
In a one-horse open health, healllllth!

This is just one more way that you can take control of your own mind and focus it in the way you wish. It's a little like exercising---you don't realize how little strength you have until you start to use the "muscle."

Once you start to focus your brain vs. letting it run amok, you'll find yourself directing your thoughts automatically and with ease.

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#19 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Getting a New Groove

No matter how high your enthusiasm may be after taking a training class or reading a new book, there will be no change unless you focus on this material for at least 21 days. That is the purpose of the "action plan" that you see at the end of many workshops.

You will be fighting your "old groove" for the first three weeks, so expect setbacks. Instead of seeing these setbacks as failure to change, realize this is part of the organic process. You are in charge of making changes in your life (both positive and negative). Luck and fate may play a small role, but this research indicates that for the most part, we are in charge of our "programming" and can decide to seek out improvement or to let things stay as they are.

Pretty exciting stuff, but the real question is: What do you plan to think about for the next 21 days?

I'd recommend you be very precise in your thoughts. If you find yourself thinking of something you don't like or don't want or believe, immediately "erase" this programming by repeating mentally the thoughts you do want to predominate. An example:

"I am so scattered. Why do I always wait until the last minute to get things done?"

Instead of perpetuating this self-image, this person may wish to reframe this observation or trait by thinking something else:

"I like the pressure of getting things done at the last minute. I am also working on getting more organized and doing things before they are due."

Even simple thoughts like, "I'm such a geek," can do damage. Instead, visualize "erasing" this groove or thought pattern by saying, "I sometimes act appropriately and sometimes mess up---just like everyone else."

Proactively creating statements to counter your subconscious messages to yourself are also useful. If you know you spend a lot of time thinking negatively about yourself, your work, or certain circumstances, erase these "tapes" and program yourself to see things the way your subconscious/thinking mind wants to frame them.

Our thoughts create our behavior, not the other way around. The more you focus on your thoughts, the more positive results you will see in your interactions with others.

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#18 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Get a New Groove

There is a convincing amount of data that confirms that our thoughts create neurological pathways or "grooves" in our brains. The more frequently we have a specific thought (or hear a thought verbalized by others), the deeper the indentation in the brain becomes. Eventually this "groove" takes the form of instinct or habit and becomes a part of who we are.

Researchers, using technology that allowed for taking a photographic image of the brain, focused on verifying this information to attempt to benefit people with mental illness. This studies took three groups of people with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Here are the setup and results of these studies:

1. The first group did nothing differently for the twenty-one day period.

2. The second group took medication known to repair the neurological breakdown causing OCD.

3. The third group participated in behavior therapy and focused on changing their thoughts and behaviors, repeating affirmations or helpful phrases, etc.

A "photo" was take of each participant's brain before and after the study. The findings were:

1. The first group had no visible change to the brain.
2. The second group had positive changes and new 'grooves.'
3. The this group had the same positive changes as the second group.

The implications of this study certainly offer important information about taking charge of our thoughts and building a more productive and satisfying life. It takes 21 to 28 days to make a new groove (a new neurological pathway) in the brain.

Some suggestions to put this research to work for you will be provided in tomorrow's entry.

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#17 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Affirmations Work

Affirmations must be stated as if they are already true.

It is common error to state something like, "I will be promoted soon," or, "I want to be financially comfortable." Unfortunately, what this language creates is the state of wanting to be promoted, but not actually being promoted. So instead, you will always want vs. actually attaining your goal.

State the affirmation as if it is already true. In the above examples, an effective affirmation would be: "I am doing things to get promoted every day," or, "I am making choices that lead to financial comfort." A good test of an affirmation is whether if feels like a lie. If it does, then you are doing it right. I know this sounds strange, but if you don't smoke and you decide to create an affirmation like, "I am smoke-free," then where's the work? Where's the change? By definition, you aren't there yet, so it should be untrue (for now).

Affirmations take about 28 days before you start seeing results.

This is also the time it takes to change a habit. There is something in the subconscious that just holds on to our old way of doing things. Many experts feels this 21-28 day cycle is a survival tool held over from our ancestors. The subconscious is trying to do us a favor by creating autopilot responses to free our minds for higher thinking. Instead of having to think about how to brush your teeth each and every time, you probably spend that time reflecting on the day ahead. This is one example of a habit you have established.

Whatever the reason for this delay, be aware that you will feel resistance for about one month. Resistance will look like:

*feeling silly
*being skeptical
*forgetting these suggestions and going back to your old ways

"Just do it" is my best advice for getting past this stage. Caution: watch out for the trap of, "I am becoming more skilled everyday...but not really!" or "I am being financially responsible--despite my inability to stay away from the mall," and other self-sabotaging thoughts.

The next time you find yourself thinking negatively or in a way that doesn't serve your goals or desires, immediately "erase" that programming with an affirmation. Remember---it doesn't matter is your conscious mind thinks it is nonsense. Your subconscious mind accepts and and all input.

Control your thoughts and control your life.

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