#16 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Affirmations vs. Positive Thinking

"Willpower creates nothing durable." ~Napoleon

In a nutshell, here's how affirmations work:

1. Your subconscious mind accepts all data without question. Images, words, feelings all register with the subconscious.

What this means is that if you are saying things to yourself like, "Attaboy!" then you're in good shape. If you find yourself saying things like, "You stupid jerk," then you're in for a tough ride. To test this, imagine standing on a hotel balcony--fifty stories up--and then (in your mind's eye) look down at the pool. Feel the zing in your toes? Thoughts have power!

2. Whether you currently believe what you are saying to yourself, the subconscious mind will process it as truth.

If you are trying to lose weight, simply state: "I am losing weight," or some other positive phrase. The subconscious mind deals primarily in imagery, though, so watch out for negative statements like, "I don't want to be fat." To verify this for yourself, say this phrase: "I will not eat that chocolate cake." What's the first thing that popped into your head? Yep. Chocolate cake. So if you are saying, "I don't want to be fat," the image that pops into your head is likely a fat version of you. That is the picture or image that registers with the subconscious mind, and you'll continue to perpetuate this outcome.

3. Affirmations are not the same thing as positive thinking.

Though there are some similarities, the technique for using affirmations is not the same as for positive thinking. Positive thinking asks that you see the positive in every situation, as much as possible. While this allows for the person to focus on the upside of a situation, it may be unrealistic for every scenario (like that stranger following you in the parking lot at 4 am). Instead, affirmations seek to create the outcome you would like, despite the current reality. For instance, if you find you have a chronic illness, or a troubled relationship with your boss, here are some examples of the difference between positive thinking and affirmations:

Positive Thinking (illness): This illness is allowing me to spend the time I needed all along to get myself back on track health-wise.
Affirmation (illness): I am getting healthier every day. I do things that bring me health.
Positive Thinking (relationship): This situation at work is at least teaching me that I can still be productive when someone doesn't like me.
Affirmation (relationship): I am doing things to improve the relationship with my boss. I am taking my share of responsibility for this situation and am making progress every time we meet.

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#15 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Affirmations Will Change Your Life

I know the word affirmation conjures up all sorts of imagery from "the new age" or pop psychology gurus, but affirmations really are more than just alternative theory. There are numerous published studies (via the New England Journal of Medicine and Duke University, to name just two) indicating that affirmations work. Whether you agree with affirmation theory or not, you are always sending your subconscious mind messages or affirmations. Why not be in control of these messages?

The word affirmation is just a way of saying "affirm yourself" vs. "tear yourself down." Use another term if it helps. Input, thoughts, data, or reconfiguration will all work in its place.

Negative thinking and positive thinking are learned behaviors. We have been told by important others in our past to assess a situation as good or bad, and we continue to do so today as adults. Unfortunately, we tend to err on the side of negative assessment. We may find this more entertaining (Can you believe she work that to the office??) or we may be buffering ourselves for fate or bad news. The idea is that if we head off painful experiences at the pass, we will be better able to sustain the bad news when it inevitably comes. The end result is that we spend most of our lives steeped in negative thought and attract people into our lives with similar views.

Play a game with yourself today. When you find yourself thinking negatively, look for any silver lining in the situation. Got a flat tire? Well, at least it's on a busy highway in broad daylight and not a deserted street at night. Didn't get the increase in salary you'd hoped for? You still have a paycheck. Get the idea? It's just a game---an effective game that will bring to your attention the hundreds of negative thoughts you have each day.

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#14 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

No Random Thoughts

Buddha said, "The mind is everything. What we think, we become." This is true in all areas of our lives, but certainly where our careers are concerned. What we are thinking regularly is given attention or mental energy. Mental energy (our thoughts) is manifested in the physical realm as action. Regular actions become habits, and habits create our lives. The more focused and clear our thinking, the more focused and clear the outcome. If the desired end result is not clearly defined and specific, then it is likely we will not realize success. At best, we will get a mixed result---sometimes our plans work out, sometimes not.

Spend time this week thinking about what is happening in your career today. If you are getting inconsistent results at work--sometimes you get recognition, sometimes not; sometimes you get the promotion, sometimes not---then it's likely your thoughts are also inconsistent. When you notice you are thinking in a way that is contrary to your desires, "erase" that thought with one that more accurately represents your goal.

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#13 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

No Random Thinking

"Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure."

~Thomas Edison


As an adult, you have always been in the position to determine what it is you really and truly want to be "when you grow up." No matter your current obstacles, bad choices, or credit card debt, you can take responsibility---right this minute---and start turning things around. This is true for everyone.

While some of you may be sure that you are going to spend your life in your current role, others may not be so sure. Is your current job the best way to express your abilities? Maybe you like your department, but not your current position; maybe you love your position, but not your coworkers. Whatever your current situation, it is imperative to be clear and specific on what you are doing and why and to accept that you are exactly where your thinking (the dialogue you have with yourself) got you.

Stay tuned for #14 to discover how to change that thinking...

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#12 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Water's Role in Stress Management

In any stress management regime, the emphasis on water intake is always mentioned. But why is water so important? What happens if we don't take in the standard eight-ounce glasses every day? Is it really going to do that much harm? Read on for some important facts on good ol' H20.

1. Lack of water is the number-one trigger of daytime fatigue.

2. Seventy-five percent of Americans are chronically dehydrated.

3. Dehydration has been linked to allergies, depression, irritability, and short-term memory loss.

4. In 37 percent of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.

5. A mere 2 percent drop in body water can trigger fuzziness, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.

6. Even mild dehydration will slow down one's metabolism and stop the elimination of toxins.

7. One glass of water shuts down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100 percent of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.

8. Preliminary research indicates that eight to ten glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80 percent of sufferers.

9. Drinking fives glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45% plus, it can can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79% and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

Source: For more information on the importance of water intake, I highly recommend that you read Your Body's Many Cries for Water by Dr. Batmanghelidj, MD

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#11 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Stress and Simplicity, Part II

I am a real quote fan and hope you are too, since many things can be learned from others in our past and present. When you are faced with a diffulty, it can be an excellent use of time to search for quotes on that topic. It's as easy as entering "quotes on conflict" into a search engine. You will be suprised at the insight and application of a good quote.

Here are some quotes to motivate you to simplify your work life and lower your stress levels:

"We struggle with the complexities and avoid the simplicities. ~ Norman Vincent Peale

"For fast-acting relief, try slowing down." ~Lily Tomlin

"The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak." ~Hans Hofmann

"To simplify complications is the first essential to success." ~George Earle Buckle

See my website for more quotes on work stress Work-Stress-Solutions.Com.

#10 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Stress and Simplicity, Part I

According to bestselling author Elaine St. James (Simplify Your Life), you can only have three priorities in life. If you work, that's one. If you have a family, that's two. What is your third thing? Working out? Church? Volunteering? You have to get rid of four, five, six (and so on) if you want to be truly excellent in this life. You can't do everything well.

Some of my own suggestions:

1. Get rid of clutter.

Visually it's a stressor. We seem to take a deep breath and lower our shoulders a notch when we can survey our work area and find it in order. Not to mention that most of us spend on average almost 30 minutes a day searching for something we've misplace in the clutter.

2. Stop being compulsive about email.

Set certain times during the day to check email. The inbox doesn't have to be empty before you can relax and focus.

3. Life is not a race---slow it down.

This will lower your stress levels and your error rate.

4. Learn to say "no."

Remember the "top three priorities" (St. James suggestion above) and only say "yes' to those.

More stress management tools are available (and free) on my website Work-Stress-Solutions.com.

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#8 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Stress Management Defined

What happens when we finally make up our minds that we are a valuable tool in our own lives? That we need the same type of preventive maintenance as our computers or our cars? What might our activities look like once the thought that we have individual and unique value and should be treated as something with value has settled in for good?

Perhaps your activities will look something like this:

When you decide to eat differently, it will not be just to lose weight and then resort back to family-sized bags of potato chips in one sitting. You will eat what you like and you will eat what makes you feel good afterward (vs. tired or nauseous). If you do not like lowfat rice cakes, find what you do like and what you know is quality fuel and eat that instead.

You will sleep because it's fun to sleep. It feels good to wake up rested. To see how much sleep you need, it is recommended that you note the time you go to sleep on a day when you don't have to be up at any particular time. Once you awaken naturally, note the time and the number of hours you slept. This is the correct amount of sleep for you.*

Take time to slow down and check in with yourself, silently and often. You may write or just close your eyes and breathe, but do not let your day get away from you through others' demands or your own unreasonable expectations without checking in with yourself.

This is ultimately stress management.



*Normal sleep times vary from six to ten hours. Experts typically state eight hours as the norm because it falls in the middle of these two extremes. You may need more. How do you know if you're sleep deprived? One clue: you don't remember your dreams.

My website has more info on stress....see Work-Stress-Solutions.Com. Go to articles, worksheets, stress tests or listen to binaural beats.

#7 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Stress Can Be Managed...But Cured?

The term stress has become a badge of honor in our current world of faxes, email, and back-to-back schedules. When asked how we are doing, we inevitably answer, "Oh, I'm so busy; I am so stressed out." To imagine answering, "Just feeling relaxed and enjoying today's workload," would likely mean being labeled a slacker, or at best, odd.

In developing a stress management program, we often mean exercise, eating differently, meditating, and getting enough sleep. It may be more useful to ask why these things would have to be "managed" or even mandated by a physician. Why do we have to take a class to do these things?

The answer is likely that you do not see yourself as a priority. You have not incorporated into your to-do list that you are also an important relationship that needs attention. You are a valuable tool in your life and you need to be 'recharged' if you are to effectively run that life.

Once you see yourself as valuable and irreplaceable, you will naturally and effortlessly begin to maintain and exercise your body. You will not, however, follow your best friend's regimen or the latest infomercial's suggestion. You will find what works for your body, your life, and your abilities. You will like what you do to make sure your body is moved regularly and fed correctly.

While fat is stored, fitness is not. Natural principles govern our bodies, like the notion that we are not built to sit behind a PC all day and in front of a TV all night. Stress isn't something to be fixed or cured, but an indicator that you are not listening to your body and that you are not listening to yourself.

More articles on stress management can be found on my website Work-Stress-Solutions.Com.

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#6 of the "101 Ways to Love Your Job"

How to Destress Right Now

1. Eat.

Seriously. I see many people right around lunchtime getting anxious or irritated or sending out snappish emails. Once they eat, they almost seem to say, "What was THAT all about?" We usually don't see the connection between low blood sugar (caused by hunger) and our stress levels.

2. If you have a door, shut it at least once a day.

I know this can seem standoffish, but it can make a huge difference. Not only can you concentrate better, but you lessen the typical external noise associated with any office environment. Add to this another stressor that is minimized: self-consciousness. Whether you are aware of this or not, no one is exempt from feeling a little tense knowing coworkers can hear their calls or conversations.

If you feel that others will wonder why you are shutting your door, just communicate with them why you are shutting the door. All presumptions of People magazine reading will be dispelled! A final note to those with doors: those without doors would really appreciate it if you would use them during loud conversations or speaker-phone calls. No kidding.

3. If you don't have a door, get creative.

Many of us don't have a door, so #2 may feel like a kick in the shin. So what if you don't have a door? Some ideas:

-Try to build an environment around you that feels private or enclosed. Moving a desk or chair can block traffic, drop-bys, and noise. Plants, bookshelves, and turning your chair so that you don't face passers-by can also work well.

-Can you wear a headset? If you aren't working directly with customers, you may be able to play soothing music on a headset to block the noise. Just make sure you can hear your phone.

-Send an email, if possible, to your coworkers alerting them to special projects or high stress times. Just letting them know that minor items requiring your attention would be best put on hold for now will help your stress level until things get back to normal. Many people aren't aware that you are under pressure. You may feel that your frantic pace and frazzled appearance are obvious...but others may think you've just had too much caffeine! Make your workload clear, and most people will understand (and steer clear for now!).

4. Go to bed early.

My favorite personal de-stressor. Many people find they get a second wind avout 10 p.m. and stay up reading or watching TV (Letterman can be TIVO'ed, ya know.) Consequently, people are tired the next day. That alone is a HUGE burden to carry around for the day. Force yourself to turn off the lights once a week by 9 p.m. When you wake up (sometimes without the alarm), you will be glad that you gave yourself the time to sleep.

Try at least one of these tips this week and stress less.

#5 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

The Power of Habits Maintained

You may not remember your initial struggle with a habit that isn't providing current-day benefits, but it's likely the struggle existed. Even if you can swear there was no effort, the negative side effects were likely there and ignored (How could a potato chip cause a zit? Can't be true! Let's break out the Lay's!)

Once your new habits start providing the good benefits, they will become even more ingrained. That will be all the motivation you will need to keep the new habit and lose the old one when temptation comes around.

Our lives are created from what we do every single day. These quotes about habits continue to underscore the importance of making sure your everyday actions are ones you want to keep.

"It seems, in fact, as though the second half of a man's life is made up of nothing, but the habits he accumulated during the first half." ~Fyodor Dostoevsky

"A nail is drive out by another nail. Habit is overcome by habit." ~Desiderius Erasmus

"First we form habits, then they form us. Conquer your bad habits, or they'll eventually conquer you." ~Dr. Rob Gilbert

See more articles on getting it together at work on my website (Work-Stress-Solutions.Com). Order "101 Ways to Love Your Job" on Amazon. Great gift idea for that hard-to-buy for brother-in-law!

#4 of the "101 Ways to Love Your Job"

The Power of Habits in Action

If 90 percent of my activity will always be habit, as The Power of Focus says, then what habits do I want/need to set in place to achieve the results I want? This thinking makes a huge difference in getting results. Here are some things I have noticed that changed my thinking once I incorporated this reality:

- When I have setbacks, I don't tell myself what an undisciplined person I am or give up altogether in an attempt to seek perfection. I realize that my old habit is just still more ingrained than my new one. This will simply take more repetition of the new habit until the old is "erased."

- Once I get passed the typical three-to-four week period that establishes a habit, I will find the new habit harder to break. My "mental tug" will not be to the old behavior, but the new one.

- I created the old habit, and I can reprogram myself to follow the new one instead. For instance, has anyone just loved wine at the first taste? How about cigarettes? These "habits" took effort to become a way of life. Let's face it: these things taste awful and probably had nauseating effects at first. And yet, those who have these habits pushed passed the negative side effects in the beginning to establish a love and even a need for the behavior! Why can't anyone do the same for, say, a workout?

So my suggestion to you is to start taking an account of your current habits (not your current failures or lack of progress). Then insert the new habits needed to change your results. The bad habits you have in place feel "normal" because you have done them over and over. Changing your behavior for at least three to four weeks will feel very odd, but so did the current habits during the first few weeks.

You can keep reading more advice like this on my website (Work Stress Solutions.Com) or buy the book and have it on your desk to crack open whenever you need a boost (it's small): 101 Ways to Love Your Job on Amazon.

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#3 of the "101 Ways to Love Your Job" : The Power of Habits

As mentioned in the introduction, I am an insatiable reader of self-help, and I have managed to define an entire career on the sentence, "I just read this incredible book. Let me tell you all about it...!"

Interpersonal skills, motivation, self-improvement, setting and meeting goals---all of these are subject matter I just can't get enough of. However, I recently started to see a repetition in my reading. The "new" books were all saying essentially the same thing. Yet I wasn't feeling that same "high" that I usually felt after hitting on some new knowledge that would improve my life. I was already doing what the books recommended, yet I wasn't seeing the usual results. I wasn't losing my Christmas weight. I wasn't increasing my productivity from last year. I couldn't seem to make it down to the Humane Society for my usual volunteer time. I was, well, stuck.

One of my favorite standards in self-help/business skills development is the classic, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Now, I have read this book more than once and have taught it as a workshop maybe forty times as of this writing (it's a three-day workshop, by the way, so that's 120 sessions). It's safe to say I know this program inside and out.

But it wasn't until I read a book called The Power of Focus that something really important clicked for me. Even though I was teaching a class called "the Seven Habits," I never really "got" that this program was talking about setting habits. It wasn't called "The Seven Philosophies" or "The Seven Theories" but still, I wasn't clear that the message was to set (or break) habits. In reading just the first chapter of The Power of Focus, I finally had that "a-ha" moment I had been seeking for so many months.

Instead of setting goals, set habits. What I mean specifically is look at your repeated actions and decide if these are getting you the results you want. When we set goals, we tend to start from a place of lack or judgment--i.e., "I need to get more organized." Well, in setting that goal, I would attempt new behaviors like setting up filing systems or trying to de-clutter my office, but this was leading to mixed results.

The problem was not so much the activity as the mindset. I saw the goal as a thing to be achieved like an item on a "to-do" list. I wanted to check off the "errand" and get back to the fun stuff. Consequently, I saw the goal as a burden, a chore, and my enthusiasm was revealed in this thinking. I either did what I "had" to do and then took a day or two off from this effort (and lost any progress) or I avoided it altogether. Only after switching my thoughts about the goals, to those in which I was creating a new habit, did I have that much-needed shift. This shift allowed for increased enthusiasm, an ease in completing a day's activities, and, finally, results.

See more articles on workplace success at my website: http://www.work-stress-solutions.com. You can purchase "101 Ways to Love Your Job" for $9.95 at Amazon.

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#2 Be a Good One Today

Have you considered what your direct impact is on coworkers, customers, or citizens? People in such positions as police officers, firefighters, or school teachers can easily connect their jobs and their impact, but what about the rest of us?

What about sewer workers or garbage collectors? Well, we gotta have clean water. What would happen if the garbage was never collected? Finance and accounting types? We all expect our paychecks in a timely and accurate way and this is probably the number-one reason you work. Any copy machine sales reps out there, wondering about your purpose? I defy any of us to go one DAY, much less a week, without making a copy of something.

I often hear people say things like, "At least I'm not flippin' burgers." What's wrong with flippin' burgers? I go through a drive-thru at least once a week to feed myself or my family. I consider that important and I hope the guy on the grill that week does his job well.

Getting the point? Dig deep today and see where you contribute to the larger whole, the larger good. Don't resist this because it seems too pie-in-the-sky. It's critical that you find your calling and not just work to get paid--that you see your impact on your organization and how this carries over into impacting the city you work in, and then your state...and maybe even the world. (Okay--did I go overboard?)

If you don't feel lucky to have your job and get a sense of satisfaction regularly from contributing to making others lives work better...then my advice is to start digging. (Hey---don't forget about ditch diggers---where would we be without them?)

Go to Amazon and purchase the entire collection of "101 Ways to Love Your Job." Visit my websites for articles on dealing with difficult people at work (http://www.work-stress-solutions.com).

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#1 Whatever You Are, Be a Good One

Jobs are more than just paychecks. They are social arenas, spiritual workshops, developmental playgrounds, group therapy, and one of the best tools for learning about ourselves. Anyone who has ever been fired from a job can tell you that this significant stressor was one of the best learning experiences of his life (albeit a painful one). Perhaps more importantly, when we are unhappy at work, we are unhappy at home, too. And when we love our work, we spread that feeling around when we aren't at work.

People can't separate the two most important facets of human existence: work and love. When one is suffering, the other suffers. You're at work eight hours a day (minimum). You are doing it for a paycheck, sure, but that won't keep you particularly productive or satisfied. What you need to keep you energized, stress-free, motivated, happy, and loyal is more than just your paycheck.

Then what is the key to staying motivated day after day?

If you aren't sure if your life work is to make other's lives at least easier, then you are going to hit a wall at some point. In short, to make your work meaningful, you must see it through the eyes of working for the benefit of others. Much like volunteer work, except in this case you get paid.

For instance, I hope that what I do in my training classes makes a difference by the time my participants leave. My private goal is to ensure that they feel equipped to head back to work with a better understanding of how people tick, what ticks people off, and how to get results from themselves and others. Then, when applying these new skills back at their workplaces, this new way is modeled for customers, citizens, and even their families through example. Pipe dream? Maybe.

But it sure keeps me from hitting the snooze button nine times every morning.

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