#38 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Dealing with Failure

"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing." ~George Bernard Shaw

There are few of us out there that are at peace when faced with a failure. Failure is scary, embarrassing, sometimes expensive, and can make "getting back up" more difficult with each additional failed attempt. Hey! Feeling motivated and downright perky?? Well, let's see if I can turn this segment around a little and put a different spin on failure.

You have probably seen statements on failure that sound something like this:

~You never make the shots you don't take.
~Thomas Edison created 99 different versions of the light bulb before he made one that worked.
~The Chinese character for "failure" also means "opportunity."

But his knowledge all sounds a little "pie in the sky" when you are the one who has failed. Before I offer some constructive tools for dealing with failure, I'd like to emphasize that "failure" is self-defined. What may appear to be a failure to everyone you know* may only mean to you that you need to refine the process, practice more, learn from your mistakes, etc. Conversely, what may seem like no big deal to others may seem devastating to you. Regardless, if you identify a failure on your part, there are few things you can do, except "try, try again," as they say. But how do you get the energy or the nerve to try again?

*(I submitted some version of this book to publishers six time over a 7-year span and was rejected--or failed--each time. Failure is only final if you stop trying).

Mourn the Failure.

It's rarely effective to try to fool yourself that you didn't goof. When we deny a problem, it comes to life; when we acknowledge it, it dies. By admitting you made a mistake, screwed up, fell on your face, that it's not someone else's fault, ONLY THEN can the process of getting over it begin.

Anger, crying, self-flagellation, brooding...whatever your version of processing a negative emotion, will allow you to mourn your disappointment in yourself. Note: if you process negative emotion by eating for comfort, drinking, or taking it out on others...that's not processing emotion, but transferring it/avoiding it. Do the work! Remember this famous saying, "The only way out is through."

Then what?

Dissect the cause.

Now that you have mentally and emotionally processed the pain of failing, look at what the cause of the failure may have been and how to avoid it in the future. After all, learning from your mistake is just about the only silver lining.

More on dealing with failure in the next post!

Get your own copy of '101 Ways to Love Your Job' and consider leaving it in the breakroom after you read it ....

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#2 Be a Good One Today

Have you considered what your direct impact is on coworkers, customers, or citizens? People in such positions as police officers, firefighters, or school teachers can easily connect their jobs and their impact, but what about the rest of us?

What about sewer workers or garbage collectors? Well, we gotta have clean water. What would happen if the garbage was never collected? Finance and accounting types? We all expect our paychecks in a timely and accurate way and this is probably the number-one reason you work. Any copy machine sales reps out there, wondering about your purpose? I defy any of us to go one DAY, much less a week, without making a copy of something.

I often hear people say things like, "At least I'm not flippin' burgers." What's wrong with flippin' burgers? I go through a drive-thru at least once a week to feed myself or my family. I consider that important and I hope the guy on the grill that week does his job well.

Getting the point? Dig deep today and see where you contribute to the larger whole, the larger good. Don't resist this because it seems too pie-in-the-sky. It's critical that you find your calling and not just work to get paid--that you see your impact on your organization and how this carries over into impacting the city you work in, and then your state...and maybe even the world. (Okay--did I go overboard?)

If you don't feel lucky to have your job and get a sense of satisfaction regularly from contributing to making others lives work better...then my advice is to start digging. (Hey---don't forget about ditch diggers---where would we be without them?)

Go to Amazon and purchase the entire collection of "101 Ways to Love Your Job." Visit my websites for articles on dealing with difficult people at work (http://www.work-stress-solutions.com).

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#1 Whatever You Are, Be a Good One

Jobs are more than just paychecks. They are social arenas, spiritual workshops, developmental playgrounds, group therapy, and one of the best tools for learning about ourselves. Anyone who has ever been fired from a job can tell you that this significant stressor was one of the best learning experiences of his life (albeit a painful one). Perhaps more importantly, when we are unhappy at work, we are unhappy at home, too. And when we love our work, we spread that feeling around when we aren't at work.

People can't separate the two most important facets of human existence: work and love. When one is suffering, the other suffers. You're at work eight hours a day (minimum). You are doing it for a paycheck, sure, but that won't keep you particularly productive or satisfied. What you need to keep you energized, stress-free, motivated, happy, and loyal is more than just your paycheck.

Then what is the key to staying motivated day after day?

If you aren't sure if your life work is to make other's lives at least easier, then you are going to hit a wall at some point. In short, to make your work meaningful, you must see it through the eyes of working for the benefit of others. Much like volunteer work, except in this case you get paid.

For instance, I hope that what I do in my training classes makes a difference by the time my participants leave. My private goal is to ensure that they feel equipped to head back to work with a better understanding of how people tick, what ticks people off, and how to get results from themselves and others. Then, when applying these new skills back at their workplaces, this new way is modeled for customers, citizens, and even their families through example. Pipe dream? Maybe.

But it sure keeps me from hitting the snooze button nine times every morning.

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