Plan to Fail

It seems to me more and more that the absolute worst way to prepare for life, a new situation, a challenge or difficulty is to hold the expectation of perfection. To spend hours and even days, tense and worried about not getting what I want or failing in some way, is automatic for me. Surely, a better way to spend the mental energy would be how I will walk away or fail or not get what I planned. How will I calmly and sincerely/humbly apologize or admit my error (which is a 50/50 proposition every single day) or stand in open laughter or judgment from others?

That will likely be an outcome. Perfection is just as likely anyway. I think I'd rather practice NOT getting what I wanted or having things NOT be accepted as I thought. then attempt to force things to go my way. I know I don't have to practice getting what I want. There is no need to learn or practice how to handle the result of getting what you want.

The other day I really 'stepped in it'. Instead of defending myself or arguing or running...I just said, "Yeah...wow...that was not cool of me. I'm sorry." And some of the folks were okay with that and some weren't. But I was okay with it. That's all I could do. I can't prevent screwing up...I can only try to repair what I've broken after the fact as graciously and kindly as possible. That's the nature of this life. Accept it or not, that's your choice---it's just easier if you do.

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Reversing Judgments of Others

(from Byron Katie)

Practice noticing when you judge or criticize someone or something. For example, in a grocery store line, you might be impatient and think the person in front of you is disorganized and rude. Quickly turn your judgment around and ask yourself: "Is it just as true about me? Am I rude? (Am I rude sometimes; to others - or to myself?) Am I being rude inside of me when I think they are rude?"

This exercise takes your attention off the "other" and places your attention on you. Forgiveness naturally results. Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience; taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them.

Remember, beyond the appearance of who it is you are looking at, it is always God disguised, standing in front of you so that you can know yourself. Reversing judgments allows complete forgiveness. Forgiveness leads to awareness of oneself, and reestablishes personal integrity.

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Right Brain or Left Brain?

Roger Sperry theorized that the right side of the brain controlled creative tasks, while the left side was where logic, language and reasoning lived.

People were fascinated by the idea, and in the three decades since, bookstores, television, the Internet and college psychology classes everywhere have been filled with endless discussions of the differences between right-brain, left-brain, and whole-brain thinkers.

The following link takes you to a picture of a spinning woman....the direction you see her spinning in will tell you which side of your brain dominates your thinking:

Go to Test.

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Dealing with the Inner Critic

This is one of my favorite teachers, and this may be my favorite video of his so far (and that's saying something). Now look here, if you have a problem with swear words, well, you're just going to miss out on some really good stuff in life, so get over that. Personally, I think they add delightful flavor and realism. So here's Benjamin Smythe being perfect (and swearing occasionally) and you should you watch this one right away to feel better about stuff. I mean...isn't that why you are on this blog in the first place??




See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

The 100% Perfect Conflict Resolution Method

Are you ready for the way to handle all conflict? You sure? Cuz some of you seem like you really like it...so I just want to check first. Okay....here it is:

You ask the person: What is it that you REALLY want here/from me? What is the deepest/truest thing that you need right now? If I can provide this, I will. Otherwise, you may have to do it for yourself.

Everyone got it? You gotta mean it though. You gotta be willing to deliver if you can.

Now, get back out there and play well with others.

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Addicted to Thoughts?

Some thoughts stick like velcro. And most of us only use our thinking function and have forgotten (or don't even know about) the other ways we can take in information and make decisions and just simply be still sometimes.

This is a very informative talk by Adyashanti. Simple, clear, funny...I think you will like this one a lot:

Adyashanti Talk on SoundCloud.Com

Some quotes from the video:

"All fear comes from thought in the form of memory (past) or projection (future)."
"What do thoughts, feelings, experiences, etc. happen to? The mind says it all happens to me."
"What is your relationship to that endless stream of thoughts in your head? Do you take them to be yours?"

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.