#34 of The 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Pride and Prejudice Purified

Keep this idea in mind for the rest of the day:

Each time you interact with someone, mentally frame the interaction with the assumption that you don't have all the information about this person or this circumstance. Ask questions. Listen. When you find yourself drawing conclusions, search for proof of the opposite (called "contrary evidence.").

For instance, if you are drawing the conclusion that this person is not a team player, ask them for an example of when they showed exceptional teamwork.

Another example: Is there someone you just can't stand in your department? Look for those things you like, admire, have in common. Try to find any common ground.

All you have to lose is your bias!

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#33 of 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Pride Keeps Prejudice Company

Another Coveyism that ties prejudice to pride: "When we argue, we are fighting for our weaknesses." It took me a long time to understand what this quote was saying. When we are not willing to be open to another point of view--when we are sure we are right--we are actually fighting to keep our limitations in place. If you find yourself right this minute thinking, 'I am not the person she is talking to in this [blog entry]," you are fighting to keep your prejudice.

When we become defensive after receiving feedback or argue with someone over our opinions on a matter, we are fighting to not have our minds changed. We are fighting to keep our current mindset in place. As you can probably figure out, this will ultimately make you obsolete. "Fight for your weaknesses and you get to keep them," is another way to look at it.

Today, I ask that you open up to this possibility. What does becoming aware of our biases look like? How do we know when we are "there"?

The answer? When we can see that everyone has both shortcomings and strengths. Everyone (including ourselves) makes mistakes and creates successes. Knowing that we all want to be able to pay our bills easily, enjoy leisure time, and create something meaningful at work---no matter our physical form or current circumstances--is the goal.

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#32 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Pride and Prejudice

Creator of the Seven Habits, Dr. Stephen Covey says, "To be objective, we must first admit we are subjective."

We all see the world differently. Every one of us has unique experiences ranging from what part of the country we were raised in to what books we've read over our lives. This creates a subjective and personalized method when we process information. When someone says they are completely objective, it is likely not so. At first glance, this must seem like horrible news. You may even be saying to yourself, "I know there are others in my workplace that this applies to, but she's not talking to me." Oh, yes I am!

If you don't admit or realize that you, like everyone else, have bias, then this very bias will be incorporated into your decision-making. By not acknowledging the bias exists, it clouds your ability to assess the situation accurately. This is the harm in not seeing that we all carry bias.

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#31 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Organizing and Time Management

"Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging-on to an uncompleted task."

~William James

Tips for time management and organization:

1. Focus on starting tasks rather than finishing them. The greatest challenge is taking the first step and getting started. It feels good to finally get moving toward a project you've been dreading. See each step as starting something new (not working toward finishing).

2. Every day, something unexpected is going to happen. Count on it. Schedule "Oops!" time.

3. Think on paper, not in your head. Writing things down minimizes confusion and stress. Write down goals, to-do list, and even problems. Why keep all this in your head? What an effort!

4. Get a spiral notebook, date it, and keep all your notes in that book. Quit writing on loose papers that tend to get lost and shuffled endlessly.

5. When you find your scheduled "Oops!" time wasn't needed (#2) , use the down time to clear out your files. I have exhumed desks with files dating back 8-10 years! Surely, these pieces of ancient paper weren't being kept for regular review. We just stop seeing the clutter after awhile.

6. More on throwing away. Ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that could happen if I throw this away?" Most of the time, you can live with your answer. Most of the time, if it really was important, you can get a replacement.

7. If throwing papers away really makes you nervous, create a drawer or file to store your stuff for ninety days. If you have not used it with ninety days, you can safely throw those "keepers" away.

"What's man's best friend (besides the dog)? The wastebasket!"

~Business Week Magazine


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#30 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Managing Projects...Managing Your Life?

Whether you manage processes or work on projects, at work or at home, these tips will help you organize for a better outcome.

1. Begin with the end in mind.

Visualization, and talking to others about that vision, is key. During this phase, spend LOTS of time (experts recommend most of the time be spent here) mapping out possibilities, talking with those impacted, creating "pros and cons" lists, brainstorming in meetings. You should feel that nothing has been overlooked (though the reality is, it surely has). Ask "Why?" until every answer has been given to that question.

In your home life, or in career planning, this same step can be used to plan your future. Visualize, write it down, talk to others, read, research. The more effort that is taken here, the better the outcome--guaranteed.

2. Fail to plan and plan to fail.

Either you love or hate this part (put me down for "hate). Unfortunately, the reality is that your grandmother was right: if you don't have time to do it right the first time, you don't have time to do it over. Experts indicate that for every minute planning, you save three minutes in implementation. In the training world, the rule of thumb is that planning and preparation is 8:1---eight hours of prep for every of hour of a workshop. In my house, we have another rule of thumb: estimate the time needed for a weekend project, and triple the estimate. Never fails!

3. On your mark, get set, go!

This is the part we all look forward to: get the new project going, start that flower garden, enroll for our first college class. The enthusiasm is a given at this point. The problem is that enthusiasm will definitely lessen as the project goes on. To counteract this phenomenon, try to see every stage as a new beginning.

Adult learning research indicates that adults like beginnings and endings, but not the middle. So trick yourself: make everything a small step/launch/ new phase within the middle of a bigger project. The enthusiasm will return, and you'll be done before you know it.

4. Close the door.

This last step has two parts: One--a project should end. The term "close the door" means that you should announce the end of the project and deliver its outcomes. If you are working on processes, day-to-day implementation, then keep it going. But if you are pulling people off the phone for meetings for an "ongoing project", then something's wrong. Two---assess the outcome and the process that got you there. "What worked, what didn't?" is enough to improve your results the next time.

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#29 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Busy Bee, But No Time Free

"You can be busy---very busy--and still not be effective."
~Dr. Steven Covey, The Seven Habits

We have all had that day where we ran around the office jumping from phone calls to emails to knocks on the door, and ended the day saying, "What did I actually get done? I sure was busy, but I didn't finish anything."

Unfortunately, with faxes, emails, the Internet, and cell phones, we have created a world where information is immediate (and it better be). Instead of freeing us up to focus on our priorities, the priority has become, "Get the information to me and get it to me now." This makes for a fast-paced day, but not one that usually results in accomplishment and satisfaction.

The cure? Consider these two changes:

1. Sit at your desk each morning and list what you want to accomplish in these four areas only:

• Mental/Intellectual (work duties usually go here)
• Social/Emotional (relationships)
• Physical (workouts, doctor appointments, diet)
• Spiritual (not necessarily religious; something that gets you in touch with your introspective side---religion is one avenue)

If you create to-do lists around these four areas, you will have a sense of getting something done instead of "where did the day go?" syndrome. Try slowing down and being proactive by implementing the list you have created for the day.

2. Don't be compulsive about emails and the phone.

It's okay to let emails sit for a while and let phones go to voice mail. With the exception of the customer service role, most of us can let some time pass before answering an email or always picking up the phone. Many of us get compulsive about keeping our inbox free of emails and never missing a call. This can get so consuming that we allow ourselves to be distracted from what we are doing just for the sake of responding quickly. While this is an admirable trait, it is not the only trait worth developing. Try focusing on one thing, then turn your attention to the requests made by others.

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#28 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Balancing Act

We all hear so much about balancing our lives, our workload, our commitments to ourselves and/or others. But what is "balance," exactly?

Is it making sure each piece of your life is equal, like a pie being sliced into sections? Is it taking 100% and assigning a value to each section based on value? For instance, work gets 50%, kids get 30%, and so on? Is it taking the 24 hours a day we each have and determining what activity gets what amount of time?

I would say none of these definitions make the cut. Your definition of balance is unique and individual and comes from paying attention to the little voices--the little tugs---you receive from your intuition or that soft voice inside your head.

When you feel guilty or frustrated or angry or exhausted or any other unpleasant emotion of physical sensation, ask yourself what this message is telling you. Are you meant to get more sleep? Is there a difficult discussion you have been avoiding? Are you staying up to watch Letterman when you really want to get up early to work out?

Whatever "it" is, the answer is already there. Just relax and let it in. Don't avoid it or smother it with a cocktail or a box of cookies. Each day, each hour, we can make choices---different choices than the ones we made yesterday or five minutes ago. Instead of falling into the cycle of old patterns and moving on autopilot, shake yourself awake, so to speak. Pay attention. Do something right now that gets you closer to feeling calm, relaxed, in control, and therefore balanced.

My definition of balance? I think it could be best described using the metaphor of a gymnast on the balance beam: calm, relaxed, in control, focused, confident. Adjusting to the small sways or missteps, learning from mistakes, and practicing, practicing, practicing. Watching more accomplished gymnasts as they balance, talking to those who are more experienced on "life's balance beam," reading about techniques, trying them out. And finally, falling and getting back up.

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#27 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

ANXIETY RELIEF: Think Clearly and Create Calm

"The best way to turn anxiety into confidence is this: Be clear. Clarity is the antidote to anxiety. If you do nothing else, be clear."

--Marcus Buckingham, First Break All the Rules

This teaching complements the last entry, as well as the second habit of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr. Stephen Covey's bestseller. The second habit is "Begin with the End in Mind." This habit states that everything we do is created first in the mind. If we are unclear about our objectives or our goals, then the outcome will be inconsistent or vague, just like our thinking.

This reality is especially important for those who supervise others. If we are unclear about our expectations, then our directions are anxiety-provoking. If we give unclear messages to people (upbeat one day, grouchy the next), then we produce anxiety in others.

Decide to simplify your goals and your behavior. Be clear in your thinking. If you are conducting a meeting today, don't clutter your mind with thoughts like :

"Okay, I have to get all these things covered and then let others ask questions. If I make sure I race through this part, then maybe we'll end on time. I gotta make sure that I talk to Mary afterward about that other thing. Are there enough chairs in here? What about....?"

Instead, simplify, be clear. It may sound like:

"I have the agenda items I need to cover and there is enough time to gather questions. The purpose of the meeting is to convey this information and ensure everyone is clear before we end the meeting."

Imagine the difference in stress, anxiety, and confidence when you compare this to the first internal thought. By simply stating over and over again your one (maybe two) sentence objective instead of letting your mind race, you will naturally focus on only those things that get you closer to your goal.

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#26 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Anxiety is Mental Clutter

Presentations, one-on-ones, to-do lists, family interactions...all can be handled with less stress and confusion when presented as a simple, clear mental (or written) statement: "I am attending Johnny's baseball game today. We will be on time and I will only focus on enjoying the game."

When we aren't specific in our thinking while making plans, we may find our thoughts sounding something like this:" I have to attend the staff meeting across town and make sure I drop off the request for copies before 12pm. I've got to be on time or the manager of the project is going to start getting ticked. I won't chat with the copy center employees and get to the meeting late like last time, either. I'm going to focus on the meeting content and have lots of ideas for the group. Then when I get back to me office, I'll...."

Do yourself a favor and identify the main reasons that you may enter into situations with low does of clarity (and therefore high doses of mental clutter). What can be done to ensure more clarity is available when needed? When you do feel anxiety, check in with yourself and see where there may be "mental clutter" that can be simplified or clarified.

One technique I use is the "twenty words or less" goal statement. If I write down everything I want to do that day and include any additional "clutter" like my stressful feelings, other people's needs, financials, etc., I have a good two paragraphs of goals. What I do instead is TYPE what I want to accomplish and then plug it into Microsoft Word (any word processing software will do the job) and select "Properties." Then I see the word count. Often, my count is at 100 or more words. My goal is to get it down to twenty words or less. It is amazing how much can be filtered down and streamlined with this exercise. What felt like an enormously stressful undertaking feels light and doable.

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#25 of the 101 Ways to Love Your Job

Visualize It and They Will Come

Help your goals along by giving them a little extra kick in the pants. Why not create an "inspiration board" or "vision board" and place it on your wall at work? Seeing what you want will bolster your efforts tenfold. Here are a couple of quick guidelines:

-Use cork or something permeable to easily take up items from magazines and websites, photos of loved ones, words that motivate you...I simply use a piece of flipchart paper and some tape.

-Instead of making the board orderly and linear, use the collage technique. If you are trying to buy a home, for example, post tons of pictures in a variety of shapes and sizes. Have fun and mix up the subjects. Use color and symbols. The pictures may include home fronts, blueprints, gardens....whatever you want.

What should be placed on a vision board? It's as individual as each person reading this entry. What I have placed on past vision boards includes:

-Hairstyles I like
-The cover of the video I watch while working out
-My house listing with "SOLD" across the picture
-The mock cover of a book I'd like published
-A house I want to buy now

You get the idea! Have fun with it. And remember--no "shoulds" allowed (e.g. "I should put up workout stuff because I should work out").

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