Instead of avoiding emotions, try leaning into them. I'm not saying express them---that was the flawed advice of the '70s pop psychologists (who were definitely on the right track). We've all regretted EXPRESSING an emotion in public. Expression and acceptance are not the same thing.
The only way to move through, and end, unwanted emotion is to sit and FEEL THE HECK out of it. Quietly. Alone. Until it's all over. Sound nuts? Try it. You'll see.
According to Michael Brown, author of The Presence Process, "Many of us do not even realize we are living almost exclusively in the mental plane and that our increasing confusion, frustration and sense of hopelessness arise directly from this misplaced reliance."
This obsession with your thoughts (in order to control emotion) ultimately creates boredom. That's because you won't feel the bad feelings and therefore you can't feel the good ones either. You (and I) can be just as resistant to the good feelings because, like anger or sadness, we fear we will lose control if we let in joy or awe without parameters. Being in control via your thoughts creates a nice, safe, consistent, predictable... BORED...person. You can take it. FEEL IT ALL right where you sit. Just let your boredom, worry, sadness, anger, joy, hope, relief...let it all happen in your body.
You can't THINK your way out of emotion. You have to FEEL it. Until it's felt, it will stick around. And let these feelings be okay. It's all just coming and going anyway.
You're only human.
See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.
