The 100% Perfect Conflict Resolution Method

Are you ready for the way to handle all conflict? You sure? Cuz some of you seem like you really like it...so I just want to check first. Okay....here it is:

You ask the person: What is it that you REALLY want here/from me? What is the deepest/truest thing that you need right now? If I can provide this, I will. Otherwise, you may have to do it for yourself.

Everyone got it? You gotta mean it though. You gotta be willing to deliver if you can.

Now, get back out there and play well with others.

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Addicted to Thoughts?

Some thoughts stick like velcro. And most of us only use our thinking function and have forgotten (or don't even know about) the other ways we can take in information and make decisions and just simply be still sometimes.

This is a very informative talk by Adyashanti. Simple, clear, funny...I think you will like this one a lot:

Adyashanti Talk on SoundCloud.Com

Some quotes from the video:

"All fear comes from thought in the form of memory (past) or projection (future)."
"What do thoughts, feelings, experiences, etc. happen to? The mind says it all happens to me."
"What is your relationship to that endless stream of thoughts in your head? Do you take them to be yours?"

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Work Stress Gone with a Pill?? : Lithium Orotate (Not THAT Lithium!!)

I just started taking this myself and am so excited at the results. Please watch this short video with Dr. John Gray (remember him? Men are From Mars, etc?). This is NOT the lithium you have heard about for people with bipolar disorder. This is something safe, inexpensive and readily available.



Lithium orotate is a natural dietary supplement that can be used in small doses to manage stress and treat conditions like depression, ADHD and PMS.

Many relationship problems and most addiction problems stem from a deficiency of amino acids and minerals in the body. One of the oldest and most researched treatments for emotional difficulties is the mineral, Lithium. It helps balance the production of two hormones, dopamine and serotonin.

In the 1970s, German doctors discovered that if you bind small quantities of the mineral, Lithium with Orotate salt, it could effectively deliver the necessary Lithium to the brain. It was also determined that the body only needs 4.5 milligrams of Lithium; not 500 milligrams, as is often prescribed and produces undesirable side effects.


Unlike lithium carbonate and lithium citrate, the common prescribed forms of lithium, lithium orotate is better absorbed into the brain, so you can take smaller doeses to feel better and have less side effects, if any. Lithium orotate is safer than lithium citrate or lithium carbonate because you can take less of it and still feel the best of lithium.

Animal studies that compared lithium carbonate and lithium orotate found the concentrations of lithium orotate were three times higher in the brain than lithium carbonate. The FDA has approved “Lithium Orotate” for sale in America. “Lithium Orotate” has what is called a "GRAS" status, which means, “generally regarded as safe.” This is the same status that natural food supplements have in the health food stores.

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Stress and Your Health (Graphic)

FROM http://www.bestpsychologydegrees.org/stress-and-your-health/

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Shut Up and Go to Sleep

I sleep 10-12 hours every night.

People say to me at this point, "OMG. How can you, why do you, sleep so much??? That is just weird! You are my stress management instructor, and you are telling me to SLEEP MORE?? What about all the things I have to do and are you DEPRESSED or something?"

To which I remark:

1. No one in this room has ever had their alarm go off in the morning, reached over to turn it off, thinking in their mind: Thank GOD it's time to get up. I was getting SO BORED of sleeping.

2. When you wake up from this alarm, every single day, I know what runs through your head: Holy Mother of God, how am I going to make it through another work day??? I am SOOOOO tired.

So, zip it and go to bed earlier. Every night. Every single night for the rest of your life. You will no longer need "stress management," I assure you.

I just put myself out of business---and gladly so.

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

This is Water (An Amazing Video)

Watch this. It's important:



See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Video Documentary on Enlightenment, "Deceptively Simple," by Mark Pifer

Mark Pifer's documentary, a personal view of enlightenment.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6AkXYl4sKo
See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:


1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind.” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it. “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls,” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

From an article on http://worldobserveronline.com/2012/04/25/15-things-you-should-give-up-to-be-happy/

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Free Teleseminar with Stephanie: The Nature of Reality

MP3 "The Nature of Reality" teleseminar with Stephanie Goddard:


See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Victim vs. Bully in the Workplace

Are you a victim or are you a bully?



These are strong words and they bring up strong feelings. Many of us believe strongly that we are victims and we have the stories to prove it. We rarely think of ourselves as bullies...if ever. But if we are victims, we are also bullies.

If you sit quietly and locate your most basic self, you will see that nothing is really wrong with you. You are fine. The part of you that you would call YOU, your essence, has never been harmed and can never be harmed. Can you find that person? For me, this essence is who I think I really am. I sometimes have to reach way back into mid-childhood to find that feeling, the feeling of Stephanie. This is the part of me that never changed and never will.

That's the part I want to speak to today. I don't want to talk to the part of you that tells the stories of how you've been done wrong. I don't want to hear your sad story, not today. We all have them, we all believe them, and on some level we know we are okay anyway. We tell the story of the bully---the parent or the system or the teacher or the lover--who treated us badly, made us like this, and we keep telling it, hoping it will be truer in the retelling.

But the reason I (and you) need to keep talking about this, is because it isn't true. It needs a lot of reinforcement, because it's a story that could and should be let go. You are more than a story in your past. And you are reading this now, so I know you are strong enough to walk past this story and get on with your life.

Who is the Bully?

If everyone is the victim (and we all have a story that proves we are), then who was the bully? Who perpetuated all these crimes? And have you ever asked your bully why they did what they did? If you have, you got an answer that said, "I was a victim once too, and that's why I acted like that." It's the belief in being a victim, that makes us overshoot a situation, maybe in self-defense, maybe to get back what we feel we lost, maybe to prove we are worthy of more. And so we bully or victimize another. Maybe our bully thinks we are his bully. Has that been as true if not truer than your original tale?

If this is all sounding a bit ridiculous, well, I couldn't agree more. I spent many years (and lots of therapy dollars) telling my story over and over...and eventually I just said, "Where's the exit ramp? How do I get on with my life?" The exit ramp is to stop telling the story. Stop telling it to your friends, your therapist and yourself. If you must tell a story, tell the ones you have forgotten (as have I) of where you were the bully. Can you imagine telling your friends about when you were the boyfriend dumper? Or how about when you didn't pay money back to someone? Have you also talked behind someone's back? Those stories...well...they seem to be magically erased when we are asked to recall them, don't they? You and I can do the same with our victim story too.

Who is the Victim?

When you declare yourself victimized, then there is a guilty party. There is someone to blame, and they are bad. This is the victim's weapon (inflicting guilt). This is how the victim/bully cycle perpetuates itself.

If I believe (tell myself the story) that I have been bullied by you and you have hurt me, then you are wrong. You are a bad person. You should be punished. This punishment may be "nothing more" than social judgment or rejection. And this punishment will last as long as I, the victim, decide you are the bad guy.

So, now the "bully" (whose weapon is control and power), now feels like the victim, because you made him guilty without an objective trial. He was found guilty without a jury of his peers, if you will. So in order to gain back a feeling of control, he will victimize you again. To prove he is right and YOU are actually the bad person, the weakling, the one worthy of judgment.

And so the cycle is attack/defend, defend/attack. And it will not end until both parties see that they are neither victims nor bullies. They are trying to get their needs met, albeit in a very ineffective way. What are their needs? To be accepted. To be liked. To be respected or admired.

Once you see this pattern in operation, you have come a very long way toward stopping it. It takes time to see this cycle, and it isn't easy or fun. Very few people will encourage you (though they will continue to encourage victim or bully behavior, oddly). You will be doing this work for you and you alone. But the reward is great. The reward is self-acceptance.

Author's note: Yes, I know about true victimization. With the exception of children or adults unable to protect themselves, I still hold to my message above : that once we've moved through these painful life lessons, we drop the story of being the victim and get on with our lives. Just dropping the story is proof of your inner strength. You can also reach back and help someone currently struggling. If that means helping and empowering people to stand up for themselves, or sending in funding for a group that helps temporary victims, these would be huge strides toward stopping the victim/bully cycle in our own life----and turning these experiences into something positive.

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.