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Feeling Inferior: It's Your Choice"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~Eleanor Roosevelt
No doubt you have seen this famous quote before, but I'd like to explore this further from the perspective of why we give that consent to feel inferior. There are a couple of generally accepted rules-of-thumb on why we get our buttons pushed---although these reasons may, well, push your buttons. The first reason is:
Consider the source.
The person who has criticized you matters to you. You respect them or like them or feel they have some kind of influence over your life, and their comments are taken seriously. If this were not the case, you would not take the words to heart. Here's an example:
If my spouse said, "Those are funny-looking earrings," I would probably feel hurt. If the neighbor's two-year-old child came over and said, "Those are funny-looking earrings," I would weigh the comment and consider the source:
-This is a little kid I hardly know and have no significant relationship with.
-He doesn't have a strong command of the English language yet, so he may have meant "amusing" or "fun" instead of "funny."
-Generally, though there may be some exceptions to the rule here, I don't find that two-year-old children have exquisite taste in jewelry.
Therefore, the truth of whether my earrings are actually funny-looking or fantastic is not the point. The point is the source of the comment. I give my consent to feel badly, inferior, angry, or some other unpleasant sensation based on the source of the comment rather than the reality of the comment.
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