Many of us fall into just one category---either too close or too distant. We run into problems when we over-protect ourselves or allow others to mistreat us because we don't know how to say stop.
The following is from a website called The Boundaries Method. If you resonate with this post, I invite you to check out the entire site for more information.
Excerpt: The Six Boundary Problems
Here’s a brief overview comparing some of the differences between the six boundary problems. As you learn to identify your specific problem styles, you might notice that you blend them together or quickly change from one problem to another. Remember to also think of how others would classify you.
Rigid. He lets everyone know exactly where he stands and that he’s not moving. He is going to do things his way, even if it means doing it alone. Buzz words: Too closed, inflexible, no spontaneity, unyielding, non-negotiable, unchangeable, stubborn, adamant, hard.
Invisible. She knows what she wants and feels but she doesn’t do anything about it in the moment. She doesn’t tell others or assert her limits in a way that will be listened to. Buzz words: Too open, non-assertive, push-over, over-adapts, feels used and hurt, her gut says “no” while her mouth says “yes”, passive.
Distant. He is emotionally or physically unavailable. Others might never know what he wants, who he is or, sometimes, even where he is. Buzz words: Far, unreachable, disconnected, absent, non-communicative, loner, aloof, cold, removed.
Enmeshed. She takes on her partner’s likes and dislikes as her own so she only wants what he wants. She is who he is. Buzz words: Over lapped, yes-man, no opinions of her own, loss of identity, too close, clone.
Intrusive. She pushes everyone to go along with whatever she wants, regardless of his or her desires. She acts oblivious to others discomfort or resentment. Buzz words: Sends out too much, pushy, forceful, bulldozer, invasive, bossy, interfering, interrupter.
Hyper-Receptive. He has no time to realize what he really wants- he just is trying to make sure there is no conflict. Buzz words: Takes in too much, tense, waits for cues, fearful, chameleon, vigilant, anticipates others desires.
There is always going to be someone who is not going to respect our boundaries or their own boundaries. The question is -what are you going to do about it?
This comes from the Daily Message on Work Stress Solutions/Stephanie's website. See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.
