What came up for me this morning, to write to you, was a technique or trick I use to deal with almost EVERYONE. It's ideally used all-day, almost non-stop, with everyone---not just the difficult people in your life.
I imagine everyone that comes into my line of sight as they may have been as a child. The director, flustered, irritated, in a hurry to get budget information to the higher-ups? She's now 9-years-old and in a Brownie uniform. The guy who just cut me off and FLIPPED me off in traffic? He can't even see over the wheel in my mind's eye...he's in overalls and has a cowlick and fudgsicle smears all over his face.
Why do I do this? It reminds me that at the core we are all vulnerable, ashamed of something, hiding parts of ourselves, terrified that we will lose connection with our tribes. So we create these tough-guy masks. Or these "I'm very important" masks. It's not personal. It's protection.
I know that's true for me. And I keep a picture of myself at 5 years old in my bedroom and pass it every day. I often stop and look at this picture and see the happiest of smiles (missing three teeth), the tousled hair in barrettes that I'm sure I thought was looking quite grown-up...her. She's still in me. And I have put tons of armor in place (or she did---it's hard to know at this point).
Will you try this today and see if it helps you? This is one of the "hows" I am offering to the "What" we so often hear : the only thing you can change is yourself.
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This blog's intent is to show you how to love your job. A job that is loved will change the world---regardless of title, salary or social status.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
It's Not Personal, It's Protection
Labels:
conflict,
difficult coworkers,
people skills,
social masks
Stephanie Goddard is considered a subject matter expert in workplace communications and specializes in leadership and interpersonal skills training and work stress coaching.
Stephanie's first book '101 Ways to Have a Great Day at Work' has been an Amazon 'business-bestseller'; a SHRM bestseller; and has been translated into 15 languages. "101 Ways to Love Your Job" is her second book with Sourcebooks Publishing.
"Whatever You Are, Be A Good One: A Guide to Workplace Effectiveness," is her latest work (also on Amazon in Kindle and paperback).
See her website for articles, quotes, worksheets and more : Work-Stress-Solutions.Com
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