Want to Feel Better? Get Better at Feeling!

Things come into our lives and then they go. Those things sometimes create bad feelings, and so we are grateful when they leave. Other times the things are good and we mourn when they go, wishing they would stay forever, instead of seeing this as the natural ebb and flow of life.

Because these times can BOTH be so painful, we tend to clinch, tense up, against ANY changes at all. Because we just don't believe we can handle any more processing, any more work, any more pain. But this doesn't work. And it's the root of stress and even addiction.

I'm going to ask you to do something completely counter-intuitive, but will actually work like a charm. I want you to sit for a minute, take a deep breath and PURPOSELY feel these feelings. Really lean into them. Whatever you experience, whether a mental labeling (Oh, I feel sad and its seems to be in my stomach area to the left) or you actually cry or rage or feel otherwise negative---let it happen. Let it roll through your body. You may want to put out a yoga mat and roll around however your body dictates---possibly moaning or making other strange sounds as the body releases pent-up emotion. See whatever comes as energy, and try not to label it as "good" or "bad".

Hopefully, this will become a regular practice. When you feel any emotion, good or bad, you let it in. You stop what you are doing and bring in full force....and eventually....what you will notice is that these emotions, once fully felt, will go. You no longer feel the feeling for days and even weeks. You are back to normal or even peaceful as soon as you completely feel the feeling. Now, a word of caution: you can't go into this process saying, "If I feel the feelings, then they will go away!" You can't go in with that agenda, but that is what will happen.

And over time, you will see that emotions can't kill you. It sure seems like they are going to, but it turns out they just need expression. They need to roll through the body. What's ironic is that the holding in or avoiding emotions actually WILL ultimately cause disease and premature death! We all know that now with studies that connect unexpressed anger with heart attack and intense sadness with cancer and so on. Not to mention the intermittent back pain, headaches, etc.

In short, the answer is not to feel better. We need to get better at feeling. When we block the negative expression, we will find that we also can't really take in the good times...we don't completely feel the joy of a wedding, a graduation and so on, because we've blocked those channels too.


See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Collective Unconscious and Stress

I have discovered that everyone understands on some level the need for digging deeper into our psyches to realize how we are blocking our own goals and what we can do to take personal responsibility for the issues we are facing. This ultimately becomes a feeling of taking control--or empowerment--and it involves looking at the collective unconscious (a term coined by Dr. Carl Jung---the creator of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). The collective unconscious can be accessed in many ways (dream interpretation is one such way). It can also be accessed through tarot.

Dr. Carl Jung (shown in the photo above with tarot cards) was reported to open his own therapy sessions with a tarot reading. The tarot offers a gentle understanding of these obstacles and how to remove them. We are often unable to face what we are doing to "get in our own way" when we are troubled, and the tarot can act as the catalyst to this form of self-sabotage.

I have spent decades honing my skills for reading the tarot while simultaneously educating myself on workplace communications training and qualifying for multiple certifications for world-renowned instruments (i.e., MBTI, emotional intelligence, 'The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People' and so on). My clients find that this unique combination results in significant changes in behavior and favorable results in their workplaces and personal lives.

To prep yourself for this form of self-discovery, I suggest reading an article I wrote for EZINE ARTICLES that offers additional information about what tarot is, what it can do for you, or even to show someone in your life who may be skeptical about this information. EzineArticles (entitled "Tarot is Totally Normal").

If you would like to explore what a tarot reading would be like (or to start a tarot conversation), please let me know by sending an email to stephanie@work-stress-solutions.com. We will determine together if a tarot reading will help in your situation (from there I will send you a simple link to PayPal to use their process or use your credit card for $25. This will provide for unlimited access to me to resolve your situation). Please put in the subject line TAROT so that I can differentiate between your request and spam.

Your communication via email will begin the process for an extended, confidential one-on-one reading where we can delve deeply into questions that are currently eluding an answer for you. We will look at obstacles and blocks that YOU can remove...to ensure that you realize a stress-free situation, healthy relationships and a happier disposition. Email (or Facebook Chat/Messenger) also gives you a written record of our conversation so that you can review the comments and your progress later.

See Stephanie's site Tarot Guidance at Work Stress Solutions for more information.

Dealing with a Pain in the Butt @ Work

'60 Ways to Deal with a Pain in the Butt @ Work' for only $5.99.

Quick, insightful ideas for dealing with a difficult co-worker or boss. Guaranteed*.

*if you are not completely satisfied, please send me an e-mail and I will credit your account immediately.
A light-hearted (yet startlingly effective) e-book to get perspective on your pain-in-the-butt at work. Guaranteed to have at least one suggestion that will free you from your departmental PITB!

Bonus: Includes handling difficult bosses too.

EXTRA BONUS: Includes a second (free) e-book: "Stress Enlightenment: Using the Four Human Needs for Creating the Life You Want"

That's TWO e-books for $5.99 (which simply covers my cost of processing your order).

"Just downloaded your ebook "Dealing with a Pain in the Butt @ Work." Love this topic.....I read the whole thing before I left work yesterday. You have such a great, readable style."

~Caroline Hipple, Raleigh, NC

"I found that your e-book incorporated a lot of the principles found on your site...in one easy-to-read spot. I even think the free bonus book was just as helpful (if not more so). Wow. Thanks for providing this information so affordably."

~Tess Godley, San Francisco, CA

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Sometimes the Job You Love is a Non-Profit

Usually, my posts are advice to you on how to love a job that you currently don't. This post is a little different. It's an example of a man who took his skill from his job and his own personal life experience and turned it into a successful non-profit.

Glen was a licensed social worker, employed by my employer at the time: Wake County, NC. He came to my presentation skills class to get advice and feedback on a presentation that would launch and promote an idea he had to start a non-profit for wayward or absentee fathers. Being a single father of three, and working with men in our community who were struggling with this role (and those that were impacted by these men's choices: their former partners and children), Glen saw a way to actually SOLVE the problem of fatherlessness in our community, not just penalize it.

His idea? Was to bring these men in and TEACH them the skills needed to live and be fathers. He saw the generational trickling-down of decades of fatherlessness and knew theses men weren't going to change by just being judged or financially penalized (or sometimes imprisoned). He wanted to teach the life skills these men never saw--the skills they never witnessed first-hand growing up. And that's exactly what he did.

His presentation blew me away. Just like on my site, and in my training classes, I'm not interested in treating symptoms or learning how to "fake it." I'm interested in changing your mind and therefore your whole experience and reaction. His plan was the same. He created training classes on everything from anger management to financial planning. He provided these men with resources and fundamentals like interview clothing. I was so excited about this, I couldn't wait one more minute before I picked up the phone and contacted the director of child support enforcement. I didn't really think she would say "yes," but she did. And she was so blown away, she contacted a judge that worked most of the child support cases---and that judge loved it so much, she made Glen's program a regular "penalty" as part of the sentencing phase!

Today this non-profit is a success (see the new website and please consider a donation: http://www.afatherforever.com #healingempoweringandrestoringmen). Can you take this story and maybe even take it one step further: ask yourself what can YOU do to set up such a foundation? Maybe your ideal career isn't working for a big corporation or having a consulting business, but to put your time and heart into a non-profit?





Like them on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/Fathers-Forever-235821653121/?fref=nf

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.