Avoiding Office Burnout : Signs, Causes and Remedies

From Guest Blogger:  David Lafferty of The Simple Dollar
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See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Can't We All Just Get Along?

“The most important single ingredient in the formula for success is the knack of getting along with people.” —Theodore Roosevelt

Today, we call this emotional intelligence. My latest book, "Whatever You Are, Be a Good One: A Guide to Effectiveness is the Workplace," provides over one hundred methods for increasing your emotional intelligence as an employee.

The Mirror Exercise

There is an old saying that points out, “We dislike most in others, what we dislike most in ourselves.”

With that in mind, to remove excess negativity, resentment, judgment, or tension in a relationship, use the mirror exercise. The next time you feel angry, frustrated, or judgmental of another, flip it. In other words, ask yourself where you behave like the other person (or worry that you may lapse into that behavior and so spend lots of energy trying hard to not be “that way”). Instead of looking at them and labeling, look at yourself and make a mental shift.

For instance, let’s say you are very conscientious about being on time. You wake up earlier than you’d like; you speed sometimes to make it there on time; you get upset with slow traffic; you start the morning frantic and frustrated with your family… all to make it there at the stroke of your start time. Now, let’s also say that you have a co-worker who consistently “slides in” at least 5 minutes late on a regular basis.

Chances are great that you highly resent this behavior. After all, you are really making timeliness a priority and this person clearly doesn’t care, right?

What’s likely happening is that you are realizing that you too have an issue with punctuality. Otherwise, you would find yourself easily getting to places in plenty of time. That this other person is seemingly not going through the pains that you are to be on time angers you. This is because you feel you are giving up a great deal in terms of peace of mind and lowered stress levels to honor your priority of punctuality.

Instead of resenting the latecomer, try instead to see that you are also capable of being late.  We are all sometimes late! Realize that you are transferring your own self-judgment onto the other person (’cause that’s easier and more fun) and continue on to the next page for releasing this judgment.

Get it on Kindle via Amazon. Paperback coming soon!

Whatever You Are, Be a Good One

My latest book is now available on Amazon Kindle. Whatever You Are, Be a Good One: A Guide to Effectiveness in the Workplace."

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

The M/R Formula: Balancing Managing Results or Maintaining Relationships

After three decades of working with employees in America's workplace, I have come to one conclusion: Everyone must exercise the M/R formula---Manage Results or Maintain Relationships.

This formula is inherent in all relationships, not just coworkers, and provides the answer to how much conflict or how much harmony we will experience in any given relationship.

Everyone is born with one type of brain or the other. We are either the type of person who is excellent at managing results or we are the type of person who experiences ease in maintaining relationships.

A person who excels in managing results is someone who will master data, facts, logic and see things in a black or white lens. A person who is successful in maintaining relationships will exhibit traits like a strong ability to empathize, a master in communication, and a focus on creating peaceful outcomes.

Because a person can only be born with one or the other as a natural tendency, we are required to exercise the weaker side to be complete. To be an effective individual, or be someone who has achieved balance, we must recognize which type we are and emphasize or practice the type we are not naturally.

The impetus or motivation for doing so can be provided by explaining what happens when someone relies too heavily on one or the other. If one is too reliant on managing results, they will be someone who insists on achievement, meeting goals, focusing on budget and improved numbers, and containing or compartmentalize feelings. If one is reporting to this type of person as an employee, they will experience a strong focus on the bottom line, growth, reports, mathematical proof of momentum and will not be encouraged to expect verbal affirmation; a lack of understanding or interest in personal details; a limited focus in ensuring health, relationships and recharging or restoring to avoid burnout.

In contrast, if one is too reliant on their natural tendency toward maintaining relationships, they will be concerned with being liked, but they will rarely be looked to or relied upon to lead in difficult situation. This person will focus on being "part of the gang" and will have a limited ability in making a decision that will be unpopular, even if it's the right solution for the overall organization or unit. This is true for a family unit as well as a workplace unit. While able to empathize, sympathize, and soothe others, this person will struggle in the areas of money matters, gathering research, identifying trends and making decisions.

In order to be an accomplished and complete individual, we must pursue the M/R balance. We need to identify which side of the human brain we have naturally, and then recognize we lack the traits and tendencies of the other. In every situation we encounter, we must relax our natural inclination (because we will always have this ability even when we are sick, tired or stressed), and purposely use or focus on our weaker side in order to strengthen it. This is the way we become a highly effective and mature individual, experiencing satisfaction in the workplace or in our personal life.


See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.