The M/R Formula: Balancing Managing Results or Maintaining Relationships

After three decades of working with employees in America's workplace, I have come to one conclusion: Everyone must exercise the M/R formula---Manage Results or Maintain Relationships.

This formula is inherent in all relationships, not just coworkers, and provides the answer to how much conflict or how much harmony we will experience in any given relationship.

Everyone is born with one type of brain or the other. We are either the type of person who is excellent at managing results or we are the type of person who experiences ease in maintaining relationships.

A person who excels in managing results is someone who will master data, facts, logic and see things in a black or white lens. A person who is successful in maintaining relationships will exhibit traits like a strong ability to empathize, a master in communication, and a focus on creating peaceful outcomes.

Because a person can only be born with one or the other as a natural tendency, we are required to exercise the weaker side to be complete. To be an effective individual, or be someone who has achieved balance, we must recognize which type we are and emphasize or practice the type we are not naturally.

The impetus or motivation for doing so can be provided by explaining what happens when someone relies too heavily on one or the other. If one is too reliant on managing results, they will be someone who insists on achievement, meeting goals, focusing on budget and improved numbers, and containing or compartmentalize feelings. If one is reporting to this type of person as an employee, they will experience a strong focus on the bottom line, growth, reports, mathematical proof of momentum and will not be encouraged to expect verbal affirmation; a lack of understanding or interest in personal details; a limited focus in ensuring health, relationships and recharging or restoring to avoid burnout.

In contrast, if one is too reliant on their natural tendency toward maintaining relationships, they will be concerned with being liked, but they will rarely be looked to or relied upon to lead in difficult situation. This person will focus on being "part of the gang" and will have a limited ability in making a decision that will be unpopular, even if it's the right solution for the overall organization or unit. This is true for a family unit as well as a workplace unit. While able to empathize, sympathize, and soothe others, this person will struggle in the areas of money matters, gathering research, identifying trends and making decisions.

In order to be an accomplished and complete individual, we must pursue the M/R balance. We need to identify which side of the human brain we have naturally, and then recognize we lack the traits and tendencies of the other. In every situation we encounter, we must relax our natural inclination (because we will always have this ability even when we are sick, tired or stressed), and purposely use or focus on our weaker side in order to strengthen it. This is the way we become a highly effective and mature individual, experiencing satisfaction in the workplace or in our personal life.


See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Train Your Thoughts for a Peaceful Life

Our thoughts create our experience. From the time of Buddha, this has been a truth revealed to us as humans. Unfortunately, for many of us, we have no formal training in how to manage our thoughts and therefore have some control over our experience. Instead, we form a habit of looking for what is wrong or what is missing. We go over mistakes from our past and worry about the ones we may make in the future. And then we wonder why we are anxious, depressed, irritable and unable to fall asleep.

You could embark on the path of meditation. You could also enter therapy to notice your thoughts and decide which ones to keep and which ones to discard at any given moment. But, you already know this. This information has been around since the 60s. You don't want to (and I don't either) for several reasons including: it's too hard, it's expensive and it's time consuming.

So what to do? Find a mantra. What's a mantra? It's a simple sentence that you can repeat to yourself over and over, when you are driving, when you are falling asleep, when you are worried. It is a focal point for your untrained mind. It is the habit, the habitual thought, that will replace your current habit of random fears and judging others.

I have some suggestions, but I strongly urge you to find your own. It should be FUN to find your mantra. And it should create a feeling in you that calms and comforts you. It should seem like a universal truth to you, not wishful thinking or positive thinking.

"Thank love for this moment in its perfection."
"I can do all things through (Christ, Buddha) who strengthens me."
"In this moment, everything is okay."
"I am supported in each moment."

Thoughts are not benign. They literally create reactions in our bodies. These reactions range from adrenaline surges to dopamine releases; cortisol and hormones. Your physical body's state will determine how you feel. And this feeling stems from the thoughts you are constantly thinking.

Choose your thoughts, choose your experience.


See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.