Not Knowing : When is "I Don't Know" the Right Answer?

Part of our desire (maybe ALL of our desire) to be right is making sense of the world, people's actions, illness, etc. When we can spend a large part of our lives in the state of "I don't know" we may at first feel powerless or even stupid, but this position can be the most powerful and wise of all.


When we are willing to say, "I don't know" we allow for things to unfold as they should, without our interference. We don't make our happiness contingent on our best guess. We don't force others to think like we do, out of fear that if they don't, we are wrong, and we will somehow become unhappy because our best guess was not what happened.

Try spending part of today in "I-don't-know"-land and notice your internal response. Also notice that no one thinks less of you. Do I know it will turn out this way? I don't know. But I DO know that the position of "I know almost everything and you better listen" is a painful and destructive mindset (and also happens to not be true).



See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Humility

Is the experience of humility something you are familiar with? If not, perhaps a clearer framework for "right" and "wrong" will help shift you even more? This thing about being right...it's mostly opinion. It's mostly a guess. It's mostly theory.


When we put a lot of time and emotion into the THEORY we become very attached to it. It becomes a part of our self-definition. We are defending OURSELVES when we really mean to defend our opinion, our view, our best guess.

And that's where things breakdown for you/me/us. There may be a few absolutes that we can PROVE, (and I mean you better be able to prove it like MATH), but the rest is just how you want it to go.


And you can't know that your way--you can't absolutely know for sure--is the best way. It's an act of humility to finally get this. Humility. The mother of all virtues. Humility and integrity and trust...they all live together. You can't separate one from the other once these become where you put your time and emotion.







See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Only One Way to Be Right

What do you see in the picture above? A beautiful woman or an old hag? They are BOTH there...you just have to look at it differently.


There is one way to be right, and it is a wonderful way to be. If you look for what is already going right, and break the habit of scanning for what is going wrong, you will find unexpected pockets of joy in your day---yes---joy. This will happen so frequently that you will wonder what in the WORLD you were doing wrong (uh, uh...no more of that) all the other years.

What is going right, right now? Look for it within your visual field as you read this post. Those curtains, no viruses (in the computer or your body), kids are safe, like that wall color, good weather, pretty hands....and don't stop doing this all day (and dare I suggest, don't stop doing this for the rest of your life?)

Seeing what's right. It's a matter of stopping the analyzing and the error-finding (in situations and others) and seeing what IS working, and how right most of your life is going.

Look for what you can be thankful for, and stop looking at what isn't going well. This can include people in your life as well. Stop looking at their faults and weirdness (not to get too technical on ya) and see what they bring to the party; what is right about them instead.

See what IS RIGHT in your life and stop trying to BE RIGHT about your opinions, choices, etc. (and forcing this on others).


(From Day 20 of the 30-Day Challenge, "When Right is Wrong."





See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.