Cool or Kind?

You can be kind or you can be cool. Those are the choices. There is no overlap between these choices. Don't kid yourself. You cannot choose cool and think you can somehow turn it into kind. It won't work. Try it. Test it. See for yourself.

If you choose cool, you will then have to move into one of two other choices: Victim or Bully. Will you recoil from the bite you receive from another also playing the cool option and then blame him for doing what you were doing too? Or will you dominate that cool player successfully and smack him down with finesse and cunning?

If you choose kind, you have only one choice remaining: love. The outcome of the exchange will result in love between the two of you. Every single time. Try it. Test it. See for yourself.

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

A Technique for Emotionally Rebooting Yourself

A technique created by Christine Wushke to basically understand your brain in four different sections, understand what each section does, and learn how to work it in a moment of high reactivity, or a big feeling.

Article or http://freelyhuman.com/hello-world/

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Plan to Fail

It seems to me more and more that the absolute worst way to prepare for life, a new situation, a challenge or difficulty is to hold the expectation of perfection. To spend hours and even days, tense and worried about not getting what I want or failing in some way, is automatic for me. Surely, a better way to spend the mental energy would be how I will walk away or fail or not get what I planned. How will I calmly and sincerely/humbly apologize or admit my error (which is a 50/50 proposition every single day) or stand in open laughter or judgment from others?

That will likely be an outcome. Perfection is just as likely anyway. I think I'd rather practice NOT getting what I wanted or having things NOT be accepted as I thought. then attempt to force things to go my way. I know I don't have to practice getting what I want. There is no need to learn or practice how to handle the result of getting what you want.

The other day I really 'stepped in it'. Instead of defending myself or arguing or running...I just said, "Yeah...wow...that was not cool of me. I'm sorry." And some of the folks were okay with that and some weren't. But I was okay with it. That's all I could do. I can't prevent screwing up...I can only try to repair what I've broken after the fact as graciously and kindly as possible. That's the nature of this life. Accept it or not, that's your choice---it's just easier if you do.

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Reversing Judgments of Others

(from Byron Katie)

Practice noticing when you judge or criticize someone or something. For example, in a grocery store line, you might be impatient and think the person in front of you is disorganized and rude. Quickly turn your judgment around and ask yourself: "Is it just as true about me? Am I rude? (Am I rude sometimes; to others - or to myself?) Am I being rude inside of me when I think they are rude?"

This exercise takes your attention off the "other" and places your attention on you. Forgiveness naturally results. Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience; taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them.

Remember, beyond the appearance of who it is you are looking at, it is always God disguised, standing in front of you so that you can know yourself. Reversing judgments allows complete forgiveness. Forgiveness leads to awareness of oneself, and reestablishes personal integrity.

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

Right Brain or Left Brain?

Roger Sperry theorized that the right side of the brain controlled creative tasks, while the left side was where logic, language and reasoning lived.

People were fascinated by the idea, and in the three decades since, bookstores, television, the Internet and college psychology classes everywhere have been filled with endless discussions of the differences between right-brain, left-brain, and whole-brain thinkers.

The following link takes you to a picture of a spinning woman....the direction you see her spinning in will tell you which side of your brain dominates your thinking:

Go to Test.

See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.