Stress can be managed…but can it be cured?

The term “stress” has become a badge of honor in our current world of faxes, e-mail, and back-to-back schedules. When asked how we are doing, we inevitably answer, “Oh, I’m so busy; I am so stressed-out.” To imagine answering: “Just feeling relaxed and enjoying today’s workload,” would inevitably mean being labeled a slacker, or at best, odd.








In developing a stress management program we often mean exercise, eating differently, meditating, and getting enough sleep. It may be more useful to ask why these things would have to be “managed” or even mandated by a physician. Why do we have to take a class to do these things?

The answer is likely that you do not see yourself as a priority. You have not incorporated into your to-do list that you are also an important relationship that needs attention.
You are a valuable tool in your life and you need to be “recharged” if you are to effectively run that life.

Once you see yourself as valuable and irreplaceable, you will naturally and effortlessly begin to maintain and exercise your body. You will not, however, follow your best friend’s regimen or the latest infomercial’s suggestion. You will find what works for your body, your life, and your abilities. You will like what you do to make sure your body is moved regularly and fed correctly.

While fat is stored, fitness is not. Natural principles govern our bodies, like the notion that we are not built to sit behind a PC all day and in front of a TV all night. Stress isn’t something to be fixed or cured, but an indicator that you are not listening to your body, and that you are not listening to yourself.







Are You Worth the Maintenance?



What happens when we finally make up our minds that we are a valuable tool in our own lives? That we need the same type of preventive maintenance as our computers or our cars? What might our activities look like once the thought that we have individual and unique value and should be treated as something with value has settled-in for good?

Perhaps your activities will look something like this:

*When you decide to eat differently, it will not be just to lose weight and then resort back to family-sized bags of potato chips in one sitting. You will eat what you like and you will eat what makes you feel good afterward (instead of tired or nauseous). If you do not like low-fat rice cakes, find what you DO like--and what you know is quality fuel---and eat that instead.

*You will sleep because it’s fun to sleep. It feels good to wake-up rested. To see how much sleep you need, it is recommended that you note the time you go to sleep on a day when you don’t have to be up at any particular time. Once you awaken naturally, note the time and the number of hours you slept. This is the correct amount of sleep for you.(see NOTE below for more info).

*Take time to slow down and check in with yourself, silently and often. You may write or just close your eyes and breathe, but do not let your day get away from you--through others’ demands or your own unreasonable expectations--without checking-in with yourself.

This is ultimately stress management.





Tweet







*NOTE: Normal sleep times vary from six to ten hours. Experts typically state eight hours as the norm because it falls in the middle of these two extremes. You may need more. How do you know if you’re sleep deprived? One clue: you don’t remember your dreams.






See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.

I Am a Liar

"When we take innocent and open children and train them to be moralists, we train them at one and the same time to be liars. Moralism and lying go hand in hand. Being "good" and "looking good" lead directly to lying.

We conceal ourselves, by lying, because we fear that the pain accompanying the act of self-disclosure will literally destroy us, or fundamentally damage our being in some horrible way, rendering us maimed and dysfunctional. In addition, we fear we may destroy others with our truth-telling." ~Brad Blanton, Radical Honesty


Everybody lies. There is simply nothing to do about this, but accept this truth. We spend far too much time blaming others for lying to us, when the action that would have brought about the best outcome would be to ask ourselves, "What am I doing that is making telling the truth not an option for this person?" We lie for one reason: because we don't like the consequence of telling the truth.

Are you/we allowing people to be truthful? Are you a person where others can share what is true FOR THEM or do you get a bit hysterical or angered when someone says something you don't want to hear? I know I can be that way. Is lying often the only way to really get away from you or get along with you?

If you are uncomfortable with those questions...you may have just launched into a more global argument mentally. It may sound like, "Well, if we let just one person lie, and there is no punishment, then the whole world is going to crumble in chaos---thieves and Wall Street and Nixon---all liars!" This is a great way to avoid the inner work we need to do to understand that truth-telling begins inside. We are not the universal police. And it is only a matter of circumstance until we bend the truth, say the polite thing, fib, tell a little white lie---call it what you will---it's still lying and we all do it.

So is there a solution? Yes. We must be truthful, first, with ourselves. 'Know thyself' and the 12-step direction of doing a fearless self-inventory are two pieces of advice to find out what's true about you and let that be okay in your relationship with yourself. If you can become comfortable with the ways you have concealed the truth from yourself, and even forgive yourself for that, you will find it much easier to dismiss a lie someone has told you and buckle down for a conversation that involves the truth instead.

Really, that's all I'm going to offer in terms of suggestions for facing the truth that all people lie. It's inner work. The resistance to others lying to us is because we lie to ourselves. Since we can't be trusted to be truthful with ourselves, we insist our external world do the 'heavy lifting.' Until I can be honest with myself, I will insist that everyone else be truthful---otherwise the world really is an untrustworthy place.





See Stephanie's site Work Stress Solutions for more information like this.